Love Cliché

Cliché

ddeit - 19/08/2011 02:10 - New Zealand

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

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Leave us alone

SweethomeAlabama - 01/06/2021 01:00 - Turkey - Konya

Today, a customer asked me if I was my husband's sister. A little flabbergasted, I replied, "No, I'm his wife." He went on to say, "Ah! But surely, you're related? Cousins?" FML

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I wish!

WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality - - Australia - Belconnen

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

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True faith

csor027 - - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

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Congratulations, you played yourself!

JulesRules - 30/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

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Mondegreens

Anonymous - 20/11/2020 17:02

Today, I was interviewing a potential candidate for a job opportunity. He started the conversation by saying that he was having a weird day because his friend just got married. To which I responded, “Oh, fun!” He'd actually said that his friend got murdered. FML

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Sir Alan Sugar has spoken

freckleboy422 - 31/01/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

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Wrong place, right time

Anonymous - 14/09/2019 12:00 - Australia - Cairns

Today, a co-worker came back from his honeymoon. He passed by my office to say hi, and mentioned, "I heard you're getting married next year?" I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. He's taking his things out of the house as I write this. FML

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Impossible

Anonymous - 06/06/2011 14:18

Today, I ran into an old high school friend while out with my husband. When she inquired who I was married to, I pointed to my husband, who was looking at shirts. She laughed and said, "No really?", insinuating that I couldn't get anyone that good looking. FML

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Workplace hell

insensitive prick - 19/08/2013 19:04 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was at a "Bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

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ariannaimelda 7

Friday 19 August 2011 8:46

Hahahaha he's giving you a heads up on what to expect :)

AislinP 13

Friday 19 August 2011 8:55

Congratulations on the engagement! And don't worry, a lot of people are still married and happy.

psycho456 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 0:28

So?

IHaveMyMoments 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 2:15

Well Technically your Not MARRIED... yet.

plasticfork 4

Saturday 20 August 2011 4:19

Congratulations on your engagement though!

FookMyLife2496 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 11:04

lol killjoy

chuko1014 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 11:34

he is totally right lol

Bored4Life29 5

Saturday 20 August 2011 12:07

Invite your eldest son's friends over while he's upstairs and say " he's jst putting his bra on"

someguy314159265 15

Saturday 20 August 2011 22:07

I do not congratulate you on the engagement. But what do I know, I'm just some (not very) old anti-romantic.

Felivi 9

Sunday 21 August 2011 0:02

What is wrong with all these negative people? I guess they can't grow up and learn how to be a good partner so they're in an unhappy marriage.

catwc 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 1:45

Hahaha excellent!

imperialtl 12

Sunday 21 August 2011 7:35

But you're still nor married so he's probably right!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife is convinced I don't love my daughter. Why? She got her first boyfriend recently, and I was friendly with the lad, instead of doing the stupid "overprotective dad" routine. Apparently, not feeling the need to act like a dumbass sitcom character means I secretly resent my family. FML

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Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

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Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

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Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

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Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML

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Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML

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