Intimacy Caught red-handed

Caught red-handed

caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Andrew - 24/09/2010 10:22 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

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Lock your doors

Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

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Play it cool

Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

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Arse!

Anonymous - 09/09/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. She was looking for the remote, blindly trying to put her hand into the sofa. Instead, she shoved her hand down the back of my pants. FML

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Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

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How could you?

Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

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Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

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Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

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Keep your wits about you

Rawr - 30/12/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was really horny after some dirty texts from my boyfriend. Since everyone seemed to be sleeping, I closed my eyes and started to touch myself. I was really close to climaxing when I opened my eyes and made eye contact with my mother staring at me as I was masturbating. FML

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Late reaction

fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

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blondie1208 17

Monday 9 January 2012 3:41

so how did the conversation with grandma go?

ZebulonPike 8

Monday 9 January 2012 3:40

Owned!

UnluckyDude96 8

Thursday 12 January 2012 5:34

Probably didn't hear it.

awthmt 6

Thursday 12 January 2012 5:57

Dont you just hate when parents do that

rpool0788 0

Thursday 12 January 2012 7:54

Off topic a little but what does op stand for I'm new to this app

XxM3MphizxX 6

Thursday 12 January 2012 18:16

U should message me ????

bernielove89 12

Friday 13 January 2012 4:04

Hahaha, this is the best. I hope to, one day, be an awesome mom like that.

bernielove89 12

Friday 13 January 2012 4:06

Hahaha, this is the best. I hope to, one day, be an awesome mom like that.

The_werd 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 22:39

Lock the door!

HBK408 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 8:54

She should of let you finished!!

chubby_choco 17

Wednesday 18 January 2012 0:18

...why were you playing with yourself someplace where your mom could catch you..?

KEEK17 5

Sunday 29 January 2012 7:04

so boredom leads to masturbation?

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom died of COVID. As I was crying in her hospital room, my husband asked if it was OK for him to leave to take a business call, and our daughter asked if she could leave because she was bored and wanted to meet her boyfriend at a bar. FML

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Today, an old friend that I never really liked invited me to lunch while she was in town. While driving back to her car, I couldn't find my phone, so she offered to call it. She found it under the passenger seat and also saw that when she called, her name came up as "Sabrina-IGNORE". FML

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Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

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Today, I realized my reflection in the subway window wasn’t just my reflection - it was an actual person sitting outside the train, making the same face as me. We both jumped when we locked eyes. FML

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Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

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Today, after watching an episode of New Girl, my boyfriend became obsessed with the "Cotton-eyed Joe" song. He won't stop playing it. FML

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