Intimacy Busted - FML

Busted

douchetard - 26/03/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Creepy but funny

Anonymous - 01/06/2012 20:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "Recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

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coeurdlucky - 19/10/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to see his 72-year-old mom who just had minor surgery on her abdomen. When we asked how she was healing, she lifted up her nightgown to show us a bruise near her belly button. She wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

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BadLuckCarson - 12/02/2013 05:55 - United States - Muscatine

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

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Anonymous - 16/10/2015 08:39 - Australia

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

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Funny story…

Anonymous - 25/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML

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Brian - 04/05/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I had my first real meeting with my girlfriend's parents. We had dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant and everything was going great. When the check came, I offered to pay and I stood up to take out my wallet. When I opened it, 3 condoms fell out on the table in front of them. FML

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Annie's Song

David - - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML

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Awkward much?

iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

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KeptMyHandsUp - 17/08/2017 17:15 - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML

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Anonymous - 13/06/2014 09:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

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jm88 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

..."So she's told me".

lovely_189 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:52

smooth

upandb 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:52

ohhhhhh man hahaha

RoryStorm239 0

Wednesday 31 March 2010 17:10

great name for it too, 'douchetard'

supremes1997 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 17:42

gay baby!!!

bobnorris 0

Tuesday 22 June 2010 3:51

did your inner retard have a stroke?

lovely_189 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:52

smooth

loveme123 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

Major YDI. Always think before you speak!

jm88 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:53

..."So she's told me".

Murphy_21 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:56

Fail.

amirn86 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 16:58

EPIC fail.

iammeanttolive 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:06

Sucks for you.

Jimboom 11

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:07

AntiChrist7 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:08

very smart. YDI

hornma 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 17:09

this is my favorite fml.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

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Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

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Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML

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Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

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Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

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Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

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