Doctor Health Bunged up

Bunged up

Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

I've known for ages

Crap - 28/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

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Leave me alone

emoflowers - 10/04/2012 02:51 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

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Full of it

romoangel - 21/04/2020 05:00

Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML

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Sam - 09/01/2018 19:00

Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML

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firegirl - 05/07/2018 15:00

Today, I finally got over a long bout of constipation. I was scared to ask my mom for laxatives because I had the feeling she would tell all her friends, but on the 6th day of absolutely no bowel movements, I caved. I later overheard my mom telling all her friends. FML

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Ever Given

Anonymous - 31/03/2021 20:00 - United States - Elverson

Today, I had to poop, but as I sat down, it wouldn't come out. After about 10 minutes I realized I needed help. The only help I could get was my mother, who couldn't stop laughing at the sweat and faces I made. I still hurt. FML

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aswamk - 19/12/2015 05:01 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, my constant constipation has become a running joke in my family; I heard my mom tell my dad that if he wants to keep his Christmas presents safe, he should ask me to eat them. FML

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blehh - 14/04/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

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fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

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ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

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Pwn17 25

Friday 28 June 2013 12:03

Who gives a shit about what she thinks?

DocBastard 38

Friday 28 June 2013 12:29

Well that was rather unprofessional of him. What kind of doctor talks rudely to his patients like that? *whistles innocently*

Ahriannah 8

Friday 28 June 2013 15:08

That just stinks op..tell your mom that she needs to loosen up.

Jjimen1654 9

Friday 28 June 2013 15:26

Oh she'll stop laughing when she has to unclog the toilet.

Enslaved 36

Friday 28 June 2013 15:37

Did the doctor first talk to you in those fancy medical terms? and you said, "English, please!! Tell me in words I can understand!" "Okay", . .

brittyboo123 35

Friday 28 June 2013 16:17

At least you won't have the stomach pains anymore, right? Isn't that what should really matter?

awkwardlysmiles 12

Friday 28 June 2013 16:25

So you didnt notice you werent taking your usual schedule turds for 2 months?

worldclassrager 39

Friday 28 June 2013 16:57

No point if trying to play a pun...due to the fact of shit it's taken.,,

badluckdawson 19

Friday 28 June 2013 19:01

Well this is a shitty situation

rety1 13

Friday 28 June 2013 19:32

Months of being heavily constipated and you didn't realize it? Either that doctor is a quack or you're a little on the dim side for not noticing yourself.