Intimacy, Sex, Embarrassing Gross Bummed out - FML

Bummed out

Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

149

887

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Steamy

Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

1 117

3 449

Anonymous - 30/09/2012 23:02 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

37 001

5 672

Anonymous - 19/02/2013 08:35

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

48 752

10 366

GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

58 501

8 544

:x - 03/02/2016 15:40 - United States - Richmond

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

33 960

5 377

Kinky

LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

36 816

7 889

Close but no BJ

nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

59 716

12 222

byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

39 341

5 080

Like in the movies

alltern8ive - - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

30 650

5 166

Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

51 231

8 341

Anderling 32

Saturday 11 November 2023 11:37

If this is a persistent problem and not a one-off, you might want to check in with a GP. Skin infections and infections to your nethers can also cause a smell.

easybree 10

Saturday 11 November 2023 21:16

lollll if you’ve dated for a while it was bound to happen. smells happen for girls and guys. my man said that to me before and I’ve had to tell him to wash his! it’s normal lol

Anderling 32

Saturday 11 November 2023 11:37

If this is a persistent problem and not a one-off, you might want to check in with a GP. Skin infections and infections to your nethers can also cause a smell.

easybree 10

Saturday 11 November 2023 21:16

lollll if you’ve dated for a while it was bound to happen. smells happen for girls and guys. my man said that to me before and I’ve had to tell him to wash his! it’s normal lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my entitled brother-in-law called me unannounced as I was having lunch and asked if I had food for him and his wife. I said, "The food I have at home will only be enough for my husband." Now I'm the villain for not cooking enough for sudden unexpected mealtime visitors. FML

542

84

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

37 000

5 774

Today, I realised that I'm addicted to a porn game… not because of the porn. The simple gameplay mechanic of combining objects on a board to make new objects makes my brain happy. I found myself feeling depressed at the thought that I'd have to wait 3 hours for my moves to recharge before I could play again. FML

187

381

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

23 594

5 420

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

189

808

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

31 917

7 379