Parents, Cigarettes Health Bullseye

Bullseye

cannabis_this420 - 17/03/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

imobesejk - 17/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

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NOT NOW!

AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

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Anto - 03/12/2008 06:11 - France

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

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Cold open

AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

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Thepunchline - 11/08/2010 09:19 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

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Estranged

freamly - 16/03/2021 17:01

Today, I called my mother to tell her about my terminal cancer diagnosis. She responded with, "What makes you think I care at all?" before hanging up. FML

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anonymous - 21/06/2011 23:51 - Canada

Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML

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One upper

help - 13/06/2023 03:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my friend (she's 14) said she had lung cancer. This made me and my other friend very worried for her, but now we know she was faking it since when she was "at the hospital" she was at a friend's house, and her mom came to the school to confirm she was faking the whole thing. FML

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Addictions kill

Anonymous - 04/02/2022 05:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my mom fell and hit her head on our coffee table when walking inside. She tripped on a 1 cm gate rail. She split her head open and there was so much blood. This is the third bad fall in 2 weeks. She still smokes, despite having COPD, and the ER doctor telling her smoking is depriving her brain of oxygen. FML

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thanksmom - 01/05/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML

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B52_fml 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 9:26

that sucks to hear.. but I hope your mom gets through it all right.

mlipro 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 5:09

Shit happens. Welcome to life. More shit happens when you smoke. Congrats on getting lung cancer. I agree with #1 all the way.

Emrysa 1

Tuesday 17 March 2009 19:58

What's wrong #3, you don't believe in a little personal responsibility?

ejvlols 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:05

dont joke about cancer/anything seriously bad its a bad omen :(

lordofperc 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:17

Agree with #1

Kimber88 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:17

You deserved that one. And so did she!

stridercab 12

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:32

More like **** your mom's life...shoulda stopped smoking.

foryoublue94 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:55

Yeah, that's why you never say that kind of stuff >.<

sbsully 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 21:15

F*ck your life, because it's never good to hear bad news like that. But your mom deserved that one. Hopefully she wasn't surprised that the smoking she does, which causes lung cancer, actually did give her lung cancer.