Love, Weird Awkward Birthday! Yay! - FML

Birthday! Yay!

Anonymous - 17/12/2021 08:02

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I got a text from an unknown number, asking if I knew a girl that I had been talking to for a couple months. Turns out that it was that girl’s boyfriend, who saw our messages and let me know what she’s been up to. Greatest birthday present ever. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Plume - 23/12/2008 07:43 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My ex just sent me a text. I read it, happy he had remembered. He wanted me to know he has a new girlfriend. FML

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Unknown number

Whoisshe - 17/01/2020 01:00

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

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Cutie

Lauren - 05/01/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML

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Mark Allan - 25/03/2012 16:06 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

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Take the L, dude

AnonDude - 06/05/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a text to the girl I've been getting to know online, text which was meant for my best friend. It was a screenshot of my her Instagram page with the caption, "I can't believe I'm actually going to talk to her today." FML

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andi0804 - 05/08/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

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A nickname that sticks

Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

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OhJoy - 02/11/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

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Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

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Oh, by the way…

PaulieD - 19/10/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a "Happy Birthday" text from my ex. I thought maybe she missed me, but when I replied with a polite, "Thank you," they responded with "Sorry, wrong person. However, fuck you." Ouch. Happy birthday to me, indeed. FML

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Jachin777 7

Friday 17 December 2021 15:46

The best gift is having that thot removed from your life.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 17 December 2021 14:50

Happy birthday! Gonna get you some of that sweet birthday sex tonight! Oh wait...

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 17 December 2021 14:50

Happy birthday! Gonna get you some of that sweet birthday sex tonight! Oh wait...

Jachin777 7

Friday 17 December 2021 15:46

The best gift is having that thot removed from your life.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was at the doctor's getting some skin scraped off the bottom of my foot for some tests. As soon as the doctor grabbed my foot, it tickled and I accidentally kicked him in the face. During this, the blade sliced my foot open. FML

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Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of two years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I'm cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

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Today, we were playing a game at work where whenever someone is in the washroom, we throw a 2 inch lug nut at the door because it makes a huge bang and scares whoever is in there. I was just opening the door to exit when someone threw the nut. It hit me in the face. FML

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Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

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Today, my autistic dad asked while I was in the middle of giving birth if I could be quieter and to hurry up because he was four hours late for work. When I yelled at him, he faked one of his meltdowns so mom had to leave me to deal with him, even though it’s SUPER obvious when he’s faking. God I hate his guts. FML

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Today, I learned that I'm not registered to vote. Apparently filling out the form and signing it in the county clerk's office was no guarantee and I was supposed to follow up until I received mail confirmation. It's now too late to fix. FML

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