Weird, Farts Nature Basic communication

Basic communication

Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

80 037

6 025

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Better out than in

flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

63 537

13 283

Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

24 783

6 715

The sweet smell of success

NoPromotionForYou - 07/05/2020 14:00

Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML

1 501

646

Stealth bomber

Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

1 586

137

He who smelled it…

Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

33 074

2 711

Stealth dog

Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

1 625

243

An attempt was made

bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

26 817

11 984

Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

28 999

4 154

Take a break

Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

472

123

JJAnd - 28/08/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

11 283

48 101

DaGirlz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:04

Sounds like a pleasant man.

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:07

I fart in your general direction

BAbyR 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:13

um eww. i hope you left. and didnt stay sitting there

spoo 24

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:14

FYL, but he is every mans hero :o

necromancerlord 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:16

Well, yes, but that's why one must always be prepared, and carry important items, such as stinkbombs, along with phone, money, I.D., keys, matches, utility knife, etc.

blinkingstarlet 15

Wednesday 17 June 2009 7:32

lolol exactly what i was thinking lmfao

NoMercy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:16

You win this round sir. But we will meet again.

jillz 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:16

He was polite enough not to unleash that in a car or house. Impressive.

jackdaniels_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:18

lmfao! that sucks lol and #5, bahahaha! good job!!! Your mother is a hampster, and your father smells of old elderberries! :P

GothamKnight 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:19

HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's funny!

roflitsemma 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:19

Haha, that is epic.

ajscw 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:20

LOL how random but also funny but keep ur doors locked

18scarymary18 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 16:20

Perhaps he always farts on that bench at lunchtime, and seeing as it is now a tradition to him he saw no reason to not go and fart on his bench, just because you were enjoying your lunch there. In fact I would go as far as to say we could have designated 'Farting Sites' in public places, to minimise embarrassment when someone has to let rip!