Balls up

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 12:01

Today, I woke up at 2 p.m. to realise I'd slept through all of my alarms and missed my really big presentation at university, all because I was up most of the night with food poisoning. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Lunab123 - 01/02/2015 02:43 - United States - Potomac

Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

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Anonymous - 15/02/2012 05:09 - United States

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

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eminem blows cock - 15/06/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Kilflynn

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

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Late arrival

juniper - 11/03/2022 18:00

Today, I had a presentation at 8 a.m. that was worth 30% of my grade. Unfortunately, someone decided to text me at the exact moment my alarm should’ve gone off, so it didn’t. My body doesn’t naturally wake up until 3 p.m. FML

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Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

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Anonymous - 25/11/2015 06:57

Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish rereading my set work for my English exam. I managed to finish earlier than expected and decided to get some sleep. I then promptly slept through my alarm and missed my exam. FML

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Sickofbeingsick - 01/10/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

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The squits

Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

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AbsolutelyEffed - 19/02/2009 16:57 - United States

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

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Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

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Magtec 11

Monday 7 October 2019 17:21

It's crazy how different we all are. If I do that I won't be able to sleep.

RebeccaMcQ 15

Monday 7 October 2019 16:59

That makes no sense at all 😂😂

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Monday 7 October 2019 12:26

word of advice: before you go sleep have it in your mind when you want to get up and the next morning you'll wake up automatically but then it's up to you if you stay awake

RebeccaMcQ 15

Monday 7 October 2019 16:59

That makes no sense at all 😂😂

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Monday 7 October 2019 17:09

say to yourself what time you want to wake up and you'll wake up at that time in the morning

Magtec 11

Monday 7 October 2019 17:21

It's crazy how different we all are. If I do that I won't be able to sleep.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 7 October 2019 17:26

Right. "Food poisoning" How coincidental you suddenly get afflicted right before your big presentation! I'm sure your fellow students don't resent the unfair advantage you got from getting extra time to prepare.