Kids, Miscellaneous Dad jokes Bad idea

Bad idea

No sex for a decade, at least - 04/08/2025 12:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML

641

175

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

People are dingdongs

Katrina - 22/09/2020 20:02 - United States - Phoenix

Today, a guest came to the front desk and pretended to have a gun under his shirt while demanding passes to the water park. He was shocked when I had security remove him - he thought it was a funny joke. FML

1 557

128

Queasy

Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

654

344

Freakout

SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

28 509

3 425

Someone - 16/04/2014 00:20 - Canada - Windsor

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

39 070

5 831

babyscarface - 12/06/2016 15:48 - United States - Orange

Today, I was grabbed and romantically kissed at the crowded carnival. Unfortunately, it was not by my husband but instead it was a complete stranger, in front of my husband and children. Now, my husband will not talk or believe that I didn't know the man, and my children think I'm a cheater. FML

16 303

1 630

sandyseashells10 - 13/11/2010 06:29 - United States

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

28 788

20 707

Catie - 13/05/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, my husband and I went to the state fair. The entire time, he complained about all the money we were losing because of the high prices of both rides and food. Towards the end of the night, we counted the cash we had left and found we were $50 short. Apparently, it fell out of his pocket. FML

31 938

4 542

You people are twisted!

pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

43 136

2 276

pussyOUT - 01/09/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

44 246

16 111

hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

28 671

2 557

DLBL 20

Monday 4 August 2025 15:11

HE is banned. Did they kick out you and the kids, too?

tiptoppc 19

Monday 4 August 2025 13:26

My brother had a friend who’s dad was a doctor and pulled a “i hope the tsa doesn’t find the bomb” joke right after 911 (2001). Some people are born idiots and no matter how smart they seem, do stupid shit. This woman’s husband apparently falls into this camp. **** this woman’s and her kids life. This dude has a bad case of stupidity, and I’m afraid it’s terminal. He should be put down (divorce) for minimal suffering for all.

tiptoppc 19

Monday 4 August 2025 13:26

DLBL 20

Monday 4 August 2025 15:11

HE is banned. Did they kick out you and the kids, too?

JasonThorn 20

Tuesday 5 August 2025 17:18

My guess is that they don't know if any of the family was involved, and it's probably a liability issue to let ANY of them in. Did he show any signs of mental defect before marriage? Because YDI if so. If not, FYL.