Relationships, Poopoo peepee, Awkward Animals Awkwaaaaaaard - FML

Awkwaaaaaaard

Zoe Avila - 09/08/2011 22:55 - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

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anonymous - 02/02/2010 17:32 - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

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Spooked

fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

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nightfall8705 - 17/08/2017 19:30 - United States - Walhalla

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

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Disproportionate response

pick up after your dog you lazy piece of shit! - 09/06/2023 00:00

Today, having such terrible social anxiety and being terrified of confrontation, I confided in my apartment's maintenance man about my neighbor not picking up her dog’s poop. He assured me he’d handle it. He reported her to the leasing office, and now she and her kids are getting evicted. I feel bad. FML

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Doggy dog world

this means war! - 19/02/2022 14:00

Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML

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Pick it up

Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

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The poop delivery lady

Why Me - - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

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sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

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Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

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Ben360 6

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:53

Stop hogging the bathroom!

dreamering 16

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:56

You got to teach your husband what bathroom is there for.

jazzyfizzle012 0

Saturday 20 August 2011 20:26

Reese eye tats nasy

Angellic_09 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 20:03

***** happens....but in d bathroom

Clubkicker_fml 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 23:47

And whata husband!

Hoarebag 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 2:51

Has your husband never heard of a toilet? Or a pot plant or something? Hell even the bin would be better! FYL

xHarleyQuinnx 0

Saturday 19 November 2011 4:55

What. The. F*** What. The. F*** What. The. ****

Naitsi 19

Monday 19 December 2011 1:21

Even if you told it was your husband you still had to pay, but you could say you diden't have a dog.

ebwaef 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 5:07

Oh wow

shinshoku13 19

Friday 9 March 2012 14:12

Honestly why do people keep marrying these ******* idiots? Jeez women of the world, lets get some dignity!

atishe24 9

Wednesday 11 April 2012 7:50

I hope, for your sake, the he was drunk shitless at the time. Pun intended.

marissarenee0225 0

Monday 25 June 2012 23:37

Who puts groceries on their fireescape..?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

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Today, I'm living in a house share with a passive-aggressive middle-aged couple who leave rude notes around the house and yet pretend I don't exist when they happen to be in the same room as me. I'm in no position to get rid of them or move myself. FML

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Today, I found out that my best friend doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom, even if she changes her pad. I then remembered all the times she's handed food to me, and teased me when I tried to wash my hands first. FML

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Today, I found out the job I applied for in IT was offered to coworker. I'm going to school for it, she has no degree/desire/knowledge of it. She was my trainer, I literally worked beside her for 2.5 years, and kept saying, "I hope you get it, I'm not going to apply." It was offered 5 days ago, which I found out about from another coworker. FML

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Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML

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Today, I got a text from my dad asking about my car in the shop. I'm trying to show them that I can actually be independent, but now they know that not only will it cost all my savings account to fix it, but also that my boyfriend will be driving me to work for the next month while the shop waits for the parts. FML

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