- FML

By FML Approved - 13/07/2017 18:30

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 149

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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utzdman55 20

Saturday 15 July 2017 4:52

Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.

Comments

utzdman55 20

Saturday 15 July 2017 4:52

Those aren’t the droids I’m looking for.

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The Top

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. While they were singing Happy Birthday to me, my mother called me by my brother's name. When I blew out the candles a moment later, I joked, "I wish my mother could remember which son I am." Before we had even started eating the cake, she called me by my father's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

Today, I went to a restaurant in a casino, thinking I wouldn’t have to deal with any kids. There was one family with rowdy toddlers and a baby, all crying and being loud. Guess where the restaurant seated us? There goes my child-free outing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 252

Today, I was walking down the street when a police officer started walking behind me with his dog. I sped up and tried to cross the road. He took this as suspicious and got the dog to take me to the floor. I've been afraid of dogs since I was 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 284

You deserved it 4 848

Today, and in the month since our son was born, my husband has lost interest in fatherhood entirely. This morning, our son had naptime in the kitchen, while he was also in the kitchen on a 2-hour work call, and according to him that was father-son bonding time just because they were in the same room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 215

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horseshit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 127

You deserved it 10 794

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 622

You deserved it 22 373