Animals Health All in a day's work!

All in a day's work!

Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

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oops1234 - 16/04/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

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lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

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crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

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tristaph - 01/08/2018 00:00

Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML

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pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

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From a great height

Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

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Classic combo

Bad day - 25/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I had quite the long and busy day at work. Also today, the AC in my workplace decided to go on vacation. I was sweating and about to pass out by the end of it. Then, as I was walking home, I got pooped on by a bird. Twice. FML

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birdmagnet - 25/04/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

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Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

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Zekfen 17

Tuesday 21 August 2018 22:05

Are you bald? Shiny heads are ideal targets.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 22 August 2018 1:46

Apparently, it's good luck, so make sure you play the lottery the next chance you get.

Zekfen 17

Tuesday 21 August 2018 22:05

Are you bald? Shiny heads are ideal targets.

Davros 12

Tuesday 21 August 2018 22:12

What a coincidence, we got shitfaced seeing Pearl Jam at Wrigley field this weekend.

Kruxon 11

Tuesday 21 August 2018 22:25

So you were an easy target.. even for a bird.

commandpriority 5

Tuesday 21 August 2018 23:41

Well... shit.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 22 August 2018 0:23

Wow I guess the bird didn't approve of the design of the tiles 😏

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 22 August 2018 1:46

Apparently, it's good luck, so make sure you play the lottery the next chance you get.

distortedcognition 17

Wednesday 22 August 2018 4:19

Manfred von Richthofen of birds! Did it sport lovely red plumage?

blahblabbity 19

Wednesday 22 August 2018 18:48

now you’re literally a ********

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife is convinced I don't love my daughter. Why? She got her first boyfriend recently, and I was friendly with the lad, instead of doing the stupid "overprotective dad" routine. Apparently, not feeling the need to act like a dumbass sitcom character means I secretly resent my family. FML

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Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

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Today, I got an e-mail at work about payroll cuts. After our annual cost of living raise two weeks ago, I make $0.30 more per hour, but with my hours getting cut, I'll make $80 less per paycheck. That's two weeks of groceries. I can't afford my vacation next week now either. FML.

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Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML

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Today, at a Christmas party, I chatted up a hot girl. She acted indifferent and uninterested so I took the hint and stopped. Moments later, another guy chats her up and they seemingly hit it off. At the end of the party, I heard her brag to her friends how they exchanged numbers. I guess I’m not good enough for her. FML

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Today, I realized why I had more than a little obsession with a show, in particularly one character, when I was transferring files to my new phone and saw a drawing my ex had sent me. She went missing, with zero leads, over 18 months ago and I can't stop clinging to either. FML

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