Health Poopoo peepee All bunged up

All bunged up

Buzz - 01/10/2017 13:00

Today, I've been caffeine-free for 2 weeks. It's turned me into a constipated angry bitch. FML

3 074

752

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Straight into my veins

Anonymous - 03/01/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML

335

135

constipated - 03/06/2017 02:00

Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML

4 356

456

Source?

Yudith - 11/03/2024 07:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I can't drink coffee anymore due to its turbo-diarrhea effect on me. I also have to take something with caffeine everyday or I will have a migraine, so I drink Diet Coke. Today, I saw on TV that even two cans of soda a week erase the heart health gains made during exercise. Goodbye, healthy hearth. FML

335

249

Strung out

Anonymous - 22/01/2023 16:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

406

657

Two speeds

Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

446

Stimulating

animositykilledthecatfs - 29/11/2023 03:00 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I drank two and a half Panera charged lemonades to feel more motivated and ended up feeling itchy and overstimulated due to the lethal caffeine-sugar combo and got nothing done. FML

665

Sostupid - 24/01/2011 03:41 - Canada

Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML

25 515

8 804

Give it to me

Anonymous - 19/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents took my to hospital with headache, cramps, sweats and tremors. The doctor thought I was an drug addict in withdrawal, which, after some questions, turns out I am. I gave up fizzy soda last week and am in total withdrawal from caffeine and all the other addictive chemicals in soda. FML

459

212

Username - 30/04/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

31 145

7 971

Sounds fun

Anonymous - 05/10/2022 19:00 - United States - Chester

Today, I discovered what it feels like to be extremely constipated while having a vomit-inducing migraine. FML

1 084

105

Seeya55 31

Sunday 1 October 2017 13:56

Just drink Decaf. Same effects, minus the caffeine and angry bitch!

raven_of_azarath 34

Sunday 1 October 2017 18:35

One of my friends in grade school constantly sang a parody of Avril Lavigne's Complicated, titled Constipated.

onceuponatime456 16

Monday 2 October 2017 16:55

Caffeine leaves your system after 24 hours. You must have been that way before you ever started drinking coffee!

shortyybrooke 21

Monday 2 October 2017 18:09

This is my spirit animal.

acmariner99 25

Monday 2 October 2017 21:37

Don’t be a quitter, Coffee will forgive you!

xnider 5

Friday 1 February 2019 5:59

I think you need to get ...k to release some stress

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom’s boyfriend insists that I can’t break anything by hooking up my new stove wrong, so I should just try until it works. Some trial and error and one electrician’s visit later, I now have a correctly hooked up stove which is now half broken. FML

380

701

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

60 598

7 015

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

32 162

2 481

Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML

46 695

4 680

Today, I texted my boyfriend a few dirty messages at lunch time and told him how badly I wanted him home. He texted back lecturing me on how I shouldn't be so drunk so early. I was totally sober, but now I need a drink. FML

38 347

5 705

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

28 002

3 245