A+ for Effort

Anonymous - 14/02/2017 22:40 - United States - Monroe

Today, being Valentine's Day, I went all out for my wife with flowers, a candlelit dinner, and tickets to a broadway show. The flowers arrived dead, the dinner sucked, and my wife hated the show. Afterwards, I tried to be intimate, but apparently I smelled like a shart trapped in a pant leg. FML
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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

RichardPencil 30

Suddenly, my Valentines Day of a microwave frozen dinner, watching news of the unraveling of the Trump disaster presidency and Internet **** suddenly doesn't feel like the worst there was. I might fire up an extra Hot Pocket!

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SlugsOnDrugs 13

You couldn't have foreseen or prevented any of that! Well except maybe your smell... hopefully she appreciates your thoughtfulness though!

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usatoday65 2

At least It wasn't my Valentine's Day. I had to deal with my girlfriends family. I went to her house for a little bit. I had to deal with her uncles yelling at each other. Aunts barraging me with stuff of all sorts. And worst of all her older brother. He smelled like year old pizza and held a shotgun at all times. I asked her if we could go to my house, she happily obliged. We were being intimate on the couch and her ******* brother was staring through the window. Luckily my neighbor is a cop. He got arrested.

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usatoday65 2

I also come to find out he broke out of jail. Now my two neighbors, three good friends, my rasta coworker and my girlfriend have set up a huge defense system in the apartment. I don't know why we did. I asked my uncle, who is in the mafia, to help us. My girlfriends family, Outside of her mother and father, are all associated with crime. I am F U C K E D, MEGA SUPERCALIFRSGALISTICALLY ******. Pregata per me mama.

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