Shopping

Social distancing gone wrong

By bananapie69 - 10/04/2020 20:00

Today, waiting in the deli line at the store, a woman stood directly next to me. I panicked and tried to move back to get a 6-foot distance, but in my panic I didn’t realize there was a stand behind me. I almost fell over, so I gasped super loud. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 769

Chill out

By IndianAngel96 - 29/10/2012 22:39 - United States - Houston

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 532

You deserved it 17 447

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 155

You deserved it 3 871

Who? How? Why? When?

By who remembers that?! - 14/03/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, a woman I didn’t know swung at me in Walmart. After scuffling, security pulled us apart as we waited for the cops. Why? Apparently I ruined her brother’s life and sent him on a “tragic” spiral after I refused to go to a high school dance with him. I have no idea who she’s talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 116

Toilet trouble

By FckMyLife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 313

You deserved it 10 177

Which one?

By Anonymous - 05/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping when a little kid pointed at me and yelled, "Mommy, look! It's the man from the cereal box!" I don’t know whether to feel flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 102

Are you OK, hun?

By Lillian - 25/12/2020 01:58 - United States

Today, I walked into a store to buy a type of bread I like. The stuff was sold out, so I asked an employee when they'll be restocking it. The employee yelled at me, because, "They do have that bread," walks to the isle, and then when she saw that they really were out of the bread, she walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 139

Customers…

By Giselle - 14/05/2021 14:01

Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 108

Never engage with psychos

By Foxy17 - 16/08/2020 20:01

Today, in a convenience store, I asked a girl who wasn't wearing her mask and not keeping her distance to step away. After telling me to fuck off, she put her mask on, went to the teenage manager and said I was harassing her. Even after hearing my side of the story, I was asked to leave. Turns out it was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 871

You deserved it 397

By imok - 07/10/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 435

You deserved it 53 667

Are you winning?

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 121

Never going back

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I had to awkwardly stand next to my ex in a grocery store because our self-checkout machines froze at the same time. Our break up was quite acrimonious so we both tried to play it cool while the attendant came to fix them. They took their fucking time as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 119

New fangled technology

By notacashier - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 865

You deserved it 28 833

Back to the drawing board

By BackIGo - 15/01/2021 02:01 - Australia

Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 190

Cocobananas

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 21:00

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 99

Sorry!

By slingshot - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting to speak to a customer service salesman in a store. To pass time, I was playing with a rubber band. The rubber band shot off and hit the salesman smack in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 924

You deserved it 28 196

Forever alone, episode 7864

By Anonymous - 01/04/2020 23:00

Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 431

Hey!

By QueueJumper - 11/02/2014 00:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 573

You deserved it 17 644

Winner winner chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 14:02

Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 254

External validation

By Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 105

Sibling rivalry

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 08:00

Today, my youngest son got lost while shopping. I was frantic, but my oldest son didn’t care, his opinion seemed to be "Who cares?" and "Quick, let’s leave before he turns up." He didn’t even unplug his earphones or look up from his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 303

Erm, thanks, I guess

By HeatedHeat - 29/03/2021 11:00

Today, I went to a store to buy a 43-inch TV that was on sale. The sale was so good that they sold out on the floor. I went to guest services and asked the employee if they had any in the back. She literally went to the back of the room, let out this god awful fart, came back out and said, “Sorry, we don’t.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 403

Bakery people seem to have a lot of weird "opinions"

By AnyaO - 08/09/2022 12:30

Today, I was refused service at a bakery, got yelled and cussed at to the point of tears, and told to go back to my home country, Ukraine. According to the guy, my people are Nazis who spent the past year draining Americans of their tax dollars to fund their war. I couldn’t report him, he was the owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 249

Easy mistake

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 466

Retromania

By #ThanksObama - 02/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to buy groceries and got hit with a wave of nostalgia… not because of the products, but because I remember when a carton of eggs didn’t cost as much, if not more, than a gallon of gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 112

People of Walmart

By FayBerry88 - 04/07/2020 08:08

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 499

Emotional

By skyeraven - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 345

You deserved it 4 781

Epiphany

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 04:00

Today, a couple approached me in Asda, saying they'd noticed how my wife treats me in public and asked if I felt safe to go home with her. She treats me worse at home it’s true, but this is the first time I realised I might be in an abusive relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 627

You deserved it 191

BIKES!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2021 08:01

Today, I’m doing the 5 km bike ride to the grocery store. As always, I'm well equipped: Shopping bags, shopping list, pen, sunglasses, hat, sunscreen, raincoat, tampons, tissues, lip balm, water bottle… Anything I forgot? Aaah, yes. Money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 308

Go vegan for the economy

By Anonymous - 21/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I argued with my roommate about which eggs to buy: organic, pasture-raised, free-range, or AI-verified climate-positive. We settled on whatever was cheapest. They were $9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 371

FML on Facebook

Keywords

#FAFO Sexism Kids Parents Money Disney Health Poopoo peepee Farts Gross Cheating Miscellaneous Shopping Weird Holidays Vacation Paranoia Love Awkward Moving home Sports Sex Intimacy Work Transportation Cars Annoying Garden Cooking Teachers

The Top

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 264

You deserved it 4 108

Today, I sold yet another £100 bottle of lotion to a stuck-up teenage fashionista with less brain-power than the yapping bastard of a dog she carried in her arms. She did nothing but brag the whole time about her jewelry, and openly mocked me for only making minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 766

You deserved it 2 926

Today, while I was trying to get to sleep, I heard a strange noise coming from the bunk bed above mine. I looked up to see what it was and my cat vomited over the edge, onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 751

You deserved it 3 439

Today, I had finally summoned the courage to break up with my boyfriend, something I've needed to do for a long time. Right before my speech, he presented me with tickets to my favorite band a month from now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 965

You deserved it 6 010

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 072

You deserved it 9 195

Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 111

You deserved it 2 898