Miscellaneous

Op here, I really didn't expect this to get posted. I'm 8 months pregnant so gas has become part of my daily life. I don't normal mind admitting to it but he was so worried about making sure I was safe I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just gas that scared him. Later that day while we were just sitting on the couch I farted again and he made a joke that there must be a whale at the window.

I probably should have made a few things clear first, this girl was a total bitch in high school and made fun of me daily. So you can imagine how surprised I was in that horribly awkward situation.

Ha, this got posted really fast. I am the OP. This actually had happened a while ago. To answer some questions, my great grandma had been drinking and had been talking about how her two daughters only want money from her. And that when she died, "I'll leave one dollar in the bank and let them fight over it!" An evil cackle included. I can only guess that this brought around her age into her mind, since she's in her late 80's and probably only has 15 years left with luck, because the fml was the next words out of her mouth. Maybe to comfort herself, I honestly don't know. But it was followed by her looking at my female cousin and saying, "I can teach you how to get into the V formation." Needless to say, we were both horrified to the point of irrational laughter.

Hello! OP here! Nice little surprise when I woke up this morning! This happened to me about two months ago and my husband thought the situation was funny enough to post. I keep my phone on because my husband's 90-year-old grandmother lives in the same community as us and he's the first person she calls in case of emergencies. When he's off island on business trips, that responsibility falls on me. Since I'm a really heavy sleeper, I leave the ringer on pretty loud. And yes, I know there's a do not disturb function on my iPhone, but I never used it cause I've never gotten a phone call at such odd hours. I didn't check the number when I answered the first time cause I was already in a mad rush to wake up and find my phone without my glasses and freak out that something might've happened to grandma while my husbands away. I was pretty groggy when I answered and I guess the lady didn't appreciate the fact I kept saying "huh?" and "what?". She thought I was sleeping on the job or playing a prank on her and wanted to talk to my supervisor. I told her it was three in the morning and that she had dialed a Hawaiian residential number. There was a long pause and she just hung up. My phone rang a minute later from the same number, but it was a man this time. I told him the same thing and he gave me a half-assed apology and hung up. This happened for the next two nights (also rang during the day) and I found out from one of the calls that the shoe company had actually misprinted their 1-800 number on their packing slip (it was printed 1-808-XXX-XXXX). So I did start using the do not disturb function on my phone and I even changed my voice mail to tell people that this isn't the number they're trying to reach. However, some of them didn't even bother listening to my message and started leaving me voice mails. They were pretty funny. The shoe company specialized in plus-sized shoes for women, but I don't think they were very good. One lady got two left shoes and another was threatening to sue if she didn't get her refund. I already had to change my number back in December (a Samoan family somehow got my number and kept calling and intimidating me cause I apparently got beaten up by their son/brother/nephew/grandson and "it would be wise if you kept your mouth shut") and I was going to be charged $36 for a new number and I didn't want to deal with updating everyone my new number again. What I did end up doing was every time someone called, I'd start trolling them. Some highlights were Teniqua, angry black lady who was wondering why some woman is calling her baby daddy; Sugar **** Mandy, phone sex hotline; Rainbow Waterfall, hippie doomsday and conspiracy preacher; and my husband's, Dick Johnson, Swinging Salami Inc., every order gets you a free complimentary *****! The calls stopped coming about a week after we started trolling with a few stragglers here and there. Probably from people who dialed an 8 instead of a 0. We assumed either the shoe company finally fixed the mistake, changed their phone number, or went out of business. Happy to say I got my number back!

Unfortunately, seeing them was inevitable. I'm trying not to get involved, but needless to say, it's difficult. Apparently, my mother is going to tell my step-dad, but she's a liar sometimes. One step at a time, I suppose.

Hi. Some of your comments really made me laugh! So, it surprised me I heard him because I've never heard anything other than a vacuum or water in the pipes. This just made me aware he can probably hear a lot more than I previously thought.. Luckily I don't have loud bathroom trips often. I definitely regretted the super loud fart I ripped about 5 minutes prior to hearing him though. :p Anyway, neighbor acts cool so all is well!