Love

Congratulations, you played yourself!

By JulesRules - 30/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 538

By ex-wife - 25/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 306

Keep your enemies closer

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 19:58 - Canada - Markham

Today, the night before an exam, I found out my boyfriend of one and a half years was cheating on me with a girl who has the same name as me. Not only that, I ended up consoling her for hours as she cried over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 234

By lhazel - 17/09/2015 02:36 - United States - Mount Juliet

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 273

You deserved it 2 098

Family Matters

By MeLandes - 28/06/2021 14:01 - United States - Germantown

Today, I found out I will always come in second to my new husband's alcoholic parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 155

Classy

By EK. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 457

You deserved it 8 034

Manchild

By Guyinstructor - 06/05/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since my boyfriend moved in, I've learned just how much his mother did everything for him and never taught him how to adult. In the last month I've had to show him how to cook, clean the house, do laundry and drying, use the vacuum, pay household bills, and he still moans its too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 236

Check, please!

By No second date - 13/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 170

By Eivana - 30/11/2018 12:00

Today, I finally got up the nerve to leave my boyfriend. We have no spark and quite honestly, it's been really awkward. I planned to tell him when he came in, and I did. After all was said and done, he handed me the roses and new puppy he had bought for me, a puppy that I had been saving up to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 241

You deserved it 1 339

By Anonymous - 25/05/2018 01:30

Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 183

You deserved it 597

Lavish is out

By INeedAJob - 17/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my sugar daddy-turned-boyfriend can no longer support my lavish lifestyle and told me to get a job. Ever since he divorced his wife and kids for me, he has to pay a hefty child support and alimony for them. This is way more than I bargained for. Now I can’t break up with him or he’ll think I’m a gold digger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 2 240

This is all over the place

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 08:00

Today, it's been a troubled day. Me and my girlfriend got into it because she believes that I stepped out on her, which I didn’t. I haven’t had sex in over 15 years. I'd gotten an STI from a ex, and had no idea that I had anything, so now I’m "nasty" according to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 194

Steamy

By Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 3 484

Doofus

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 518

Humblebrag or what?

By Anonymous - 23/09/2023 08:00 - Canada - Greater Sudbury

Today, I had my third threesome with my fiancée and our friend. We are moving in together and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her lips against mine, or how she feels when we fuck. I wish I had met her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 1 057

By AlwaysAfraid - 16/10/2018 22:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 222

You deserved it 297

Thematical

By Anonymous - 22/08/2024 13:00

Today, at our wedding, my groomsmen had a lightsaber fight on the dance floor. Everyone was laughing and the kids loved it. My wife burst into tears, started screaming that we ruined her fairytale wedding, and stormed out. Our entire relationship started when we met at the cinema when Star Wars was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 157

Doing the rounds

By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 20:33 - United States

Today, my best friend admitted to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she's now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 191

You deserved it 2 885

Great guy

By Mxmarie - 30/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, like every month, I need to summon the courage to tell my husband that I’m on my period. When he finds out, he’s gonna go out and sleep with other women until it’s gone. He has “urges” and “needs sex every day” and if I "can’t give it to him someone else will.” I’m disabled and can’t afford to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 197

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 12/06/2023 18:00

Today, my wife wanted sex, but dropped the bomb that she wants another baby, because our other kids are grown up now. This ruined the sexy vibe we had going and now she’s mad at me for not wanting sex, and for not wanting another baby when we barely survived parenting the other three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 199

Priorities

By Jamal - 19/08/2022 04:00

Today, after three years of relationship, my ex broke with me because if we continued dating, she wouldn't have any free time to play Clash Royale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 134

Little secret

By Cam - 14/01/2020 05:00 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is still scared of his ex. It's been 8 months and our relationship is still "secret." Why? Because he's scared that she will find out and tell his family about us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 446

By Anonymous - 08/01/2014 00:39 - United States - Salem

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 424

You deserved it 61 018

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, after weeks of being engaged and with the wedding date planned, I finally told my parents. They told me it was my best April Fool's joke ever. I should've waited one more day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 709

You deserved it 5 820

By Canadagirl - 24/08/2017 01:30

Today, my boyfriend of seven and a half years broke up with me. By text message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 320

You deserved it 323

By lonely - 08/09/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend blocked me from every form of contact. He told my friend that we broke up, but never told me. I still have his clothes in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 189

You deserved it 209

Stuck in the life script

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 15:00

Today, I was talking to my dad about how I don’t think I love my fiancé anymore. He sat me down and gave me a severe talking to that amounted to, “We’re a respectable religious family, he’ll be a good husband, you’ll make babies and grow old together. You don’t need to love him to do that.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 208

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I thought it was a great idea to go off into a park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park. Meanwhile, a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 564

You deserved it 74 396

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 409

You deserved it 7 517

Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 168

Today, my employer gave me a gift to celebrate the one-year anniversary of my hire date. It would have been a really nice gesture if they weren't laying me off at the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 886

You deserved it 168

Today, some kid was scratching the side of my car with a brick so I yelled at him, then I yelled at his parents. They didn’t speak English and when cops arrived they told me I should have been more understanding and I was lucky not to be charged with verbally assaulting them. WHAT THE FUCK? FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 116

Today, a cute guy came up to me and asked for my phone number. I was super excited and began to write it down when he said, "It doesn't have to be your real number, I'm not gonna call anyway." I still gave him my real number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 495

You deserved it 1 394