Cars

Gross, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/05/2010 02:30 - United States

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 424

You deserved it 3 183

Rejection hotline

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 12:00

Today, after having my car's oil changed, I asked the girl at the front desk for her number and she gave it to me, so I was excited all day. That night I texted her and she asked who it was and I told her my name, then she told me she gave her number out to a lot of customers, so she didn’t remember me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 929

Y'all need Jesus

By TNDriver - 16/07/2013 13:12 - United States - Jackson

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 143

You deserved it 15 105

Paperweight

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, for my 18th birthday, my parents gave me a Spotify Car Thing. Not only do I not own a car, I won't be able to afford one before this crap tech gadget turns into a useless brick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 99

Dumbass

By hannibal - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 912

You deserved it 37 900

Deep cleanse

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 22:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I took my car to the automatic wash for the first time in years. I didn’t realize you’re supposed to remember to close the sunroof. I now own a freshly-cleaned car interior, soaked seats, and one very wet, traumatized dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 609

Pipe down, Whitney

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 10:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I got a parking ticket because I was too busy singing along to my music to notice that I'd overstayed the time limit on the quick stop parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 975

Turn it off, make it stop!

By ricewine23 - 04/08/2021 04:01

Today, I bought a truck. It's a little beat up, but I got a pretty good deal because of it… Or so I thought. Turns out there's a Nickelback CD stuck in the player. And the radio is spotty. I can't help but think that had something to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 216

Amazing timing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Antelope

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 146

You deserved it 4 422

By drew - 18/12/2010 20:22 - United States

Today, I was run over by my own car as I tried to push it out of a snowbank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 470

You deserved it 5 009

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 22:00

Today, a guy cut me off on the freeway, so I followed him, intent on confronting him. He turned off and went down a side road… right to the gate of a government base, which opened. I did a U-turn and hauled ass, only to get stopped by cops and grilled relentlessly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 791

Heavy sleeper

By tootles - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was kicked out of my parents' house, so I ended up sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I was then awoken by a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 651

You deserved it 6 383

Petty officer

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 174

You deserved it 3 760

Ninja move

By kiran - 24/10/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I went to the post office. As I entered the building, my car alarm went off. Thinking I'd accidentally pressed the alarm on my keys, I shut it off without looking. When I returned to my car, the passenger window was demolished and my purse with all my money was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 082

You deserved it 39 684

Never annoy the driver

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 14:00

Today, my husband went to pick my mom up from the airport, but apparently they got in one of their arguments on the way home, so he dumped her at a Starbucks and came home without her. He won’t even tell me which Starbucks, and when I rang her she gave useless directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 304

You're the ass

By etgohome - 26/08/2013 00:10 - Canada - Kingston

Today, I almost got run over on my bike by a truck who raced through a red light. After narrowly avoiding a collision, the car slowed down. Instead of apologizing for almost killing me, the driver stuck his head out of the window and yelled, "Nice ass!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 289

You deserved it 3 643

Bad omen

By KaRaBeAr24 - 16/03/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I got hit and totaled my new car, on my way to get married, with my fiancé and kids in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 119

By TotaledBeamer - 03/06/2019 22:09

Today, I found out how much damage my neighbor's 5-year-old kid can do to my brand-new BMW with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 314

You deserved it 167

It's a deal

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 83

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 494

You deserved it 11 684

Butter fingers

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 14:00

Today, I finally got my new car delivered to my home. After clicking some pics, I was walking around it, just admiring it, and tripped. Both sets of keys fell down the storm water drain. It rained heavily last night and this morning, so the water inside is still flowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 394

Potholed out

By Murphy’s Christmas - 13/12/2018 13:30

Today, my husband blew a tire in a hidden pothole on the way to work. I picked him up in my car later that day, only to hit an entirely different pothole, bending my rim, and catapulting my hubcap into the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 674

You deserved it 201

MOVE!

By AHole - 21/11/2012 14:03 - United States - Grand Forks

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at my son's school parked, and the driver got out. I basically leaned on my horn and gave her every dirty look in the book. She said nothing but stared at me as she opened the back of her van to unload her child's wheelchair. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 849

You deserved it 76 033

Dad, stop driving my car

By Anonymous - 28/02/2021 00:01 - Puerto Rico - Aguas Buenas

Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 90

Cars can **** right off

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 18:00

Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 174

The Soprano

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 789

You deserved it 12 254

Beep Beep Who's Got the Keys to the Jeep

By Loser - 12/08/2017 03:30 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I lost my keys while at the supermarket. I franticly back-tracked through the store, asking everyone I saw along the way. They eventually showed up, right where I left them... in my unattended car, the engine still running. There was an announcement made over the PA system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 3 423

Snow day confusion

By hehe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to shovel the massive amount of snow that was on our car. After spending time in the cold wind, I finally finished, realizing it wasn't my car. It was an identical car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 6 468

Burning rubber

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 00:01

Today, I bought a car that literally caught fire seconds after I started the engine. The dealership then fobbed me off, saying I'd driven it off their forecourt (by about 3 yards), so it was entirely my problem, but they still expect my monthly payments to be on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 99

Technical issue

By yeahright343 - 14/11/2021 14:01

Today, I received a toll bill via email. The photograph showed a white pickup truck. I drive a blue Honda Element. At lease the license plates have the same letters on them… but in a different order. Apparently the software that matches plates is dyslexic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, I have a job test coming in two days. Today was also the perfect time for me to catch the flu. The flu affects me badly for a week, whereas this job test opportunity for a city job that pays well happens once every 10 years. I won't get this opportunity again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 126

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 342

You deserved it 3 668

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 713

You deserved it 95 490

Today, I got a $60 parking ticket for not paying the $2.50 pay-to-park fee. I checked my bank records, which proved that I'd paid the fee, for the correct space too. The problem is the fine is too small to contest in traffic court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 901

You deserved it 924

Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 203

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 858

You deserved it 42 508