Accident

Take your time

By Kitty - 08/08/2021 09:59 - United States - Johnston

Today, thinking I could carry it all, I stubbornly brought a load of food in with both hands. The glass jar of nacho cheese smashed on my radiator, and I had to use a toothbrush to clean between the cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 892

Brain melt

By ray - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I dropped my bag to run after my two-year-old who had bolted in the parking lot. Once he was in his seat, I got in and drove away. I felt two large thumps as I drove over my own iPad, cellphone and wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 237

You deserved it 15 510

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 004

You deserved it 3 886

Delicious

By MYLIFESUX - 12/04/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, while eating a bag of Starbursts. The bag slid off the bed, so I went to catch it and in the process my knee hit my laptop, which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my laptop to save 11 Starbursts from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 212

You deserved it 56 975

Driving school dropout

By Rebecca - 16/01/2012 00:36 - Canada

Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 41 465

I'm a dumbass

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I almost died in the shower when I slipped and my dumbass self tried to grab the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 597

Slipping up

By FastFlight - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my daughter used Pledge to clean the wooden staircase. I found out when I tried to walk down them in socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 794

You deserved it 5 153

By Sica - 15/03/2012 19:28 - France

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 753

You deserved it 6 415

Too late

By Anonymous - 08/06/2009 13:25 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 285

You deserved it 7 546

Psycho

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 20:01

Today, I'd never quite realised how nasty my girlfriend was until she hit a kid on a zebra crossing and was more upset that her bumper was dented than the fact an 8 year-old had a broken leg. She was still blaming the kid and demanding his parents pay the damage as he was being put in the ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 232

Life's a beach

By MICHAELTHEA - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 4 469

Broken man

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 16:00

Today, thanks to my girlfriend's goddamn habit of using the stairs as storage shelves for keys, coats, shoes, dog leads, makeup, and the fucking kitchen sink, I fell down the stairs for the third time, and broke my third bone this year, and it’s only just March. That’s one bone a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 295

Like tears in rain

By anabanannailoveu - 17/07/2021 07:59

Today, while I was on a walk, I saw my boyfriend; since it was raining, I thought it would be romantic to run up to him and kiss him. I ended up breaking his arm because I knocked him over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 433

Wandering eye

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 111

Coming through!

By Fender bender - 10/09/2022 05:30 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I was driving around a parking lot, looking for an empty spot. Someone was backing out a bit too quickly as I was about to pass by, so I honked to announce myself. The driver instead panicked and reversed into my front bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 248

By godhatesme - 10/12/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 142

You deserved it 20 753

PIVOT!

By Anonymous - 02/05/2011 17:43 - United States

Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 749

You deserved it 4 260

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 14:02

Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 307

Fridge fight

By kb. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 758

You deserved it 2 518

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 142

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 475

You deserved it 14 449

Oh dear…

By Wet Britches - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 052

You deserved it 1 745

Menace II Society

By can’t buy her love - 22/03/2021 18:01 - United States

Today, my teenage stepdaughter wrecked her third car texting and driving. I’ve pleaded with my husband to stop buying her new ones and to revoke her driving privileges. He’s so desperate for her to love him that he’ll give her literally anything. I’m scared she’s going to get someone killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 944

You deserved it 178

Blind spot

By nicky - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 349

You deserved it 30 037

Pile up

By neverforgetyourphone - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Barrie

Today, I got into an accident. As I was talking to a police officer about what happened, the tow truck driver managed to take my car and drive away, leaving me with no phone or wallet. I just spent an hour walking home in a hail storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 3 014

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 18:00

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 139

It's all deregulation's fault

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 22:00

Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 115

Skittish and wet

By JennieLee - 30/08/2024 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 219

Summon the demons

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 10:00

Today, after my son lost an eye in an accident, he has recently been fitted with a professionally made false eye. I thought I could trust him to take it seriously, but nope, turns out when getting the eye made, he secretly insisted the eye be a mixture of blood red and fire yellow to look demonic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 295

Coming through!

By SBT1030 - 23/07/2009 11:45 - United States

Today, I was helping my sister by getting some old boxes down from her attic. Too bad I didn't realize the piece of plywood I was standing on doesn't extend all over the attic floor. Of course, I did realize it when I went through the ceiling onto the concrete floor of her garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 559

You deserved it 5 652

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 646

You deserved it 6 742

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 585

You deserved it 4 583

Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 195

Today, I had a stomach virus, so I didn't eat anything. My new roommate asked me if I was anorexic so to prove I wasn't, I ate a sandwich in front of her. Only to go into the bathroom and throw it up later. She heard and now thinks I'm bulimic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 488

You deserved it 6 256

Today, my dad and his new fiancée are like two love-sick bunnies. They start having sex immediately whenever I leave the house. Even when I take out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 179

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 263

You deserved it 2 910