Your everyday life stories

Suspicious minds

Anonymous - 30/03/2025 18:00 - Canada - Midland

Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML

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Private stuff

Anonymous - 17/06/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone to my boss and I mentioned about finding what he needed in the search history. Later, my dad asked what a search history is. When I explained, he went red and asked me if I could maybe delete his without reading it. Jesus Christ, Dad, use private browsing. FML

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He has a type

Anonymous - 15/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I noticed my crush of almost 3 years was talking to me a lot more at school. He seemed genuinely comfortable around me, even playing with my rings during class. I thought maybe I had a chance. Nope. A mutual friend just told me he likes another girl. A girl who coincidentally looks just like me but skinnier. FML

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Leave a workaround in the comments!

Anonymous - 28/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, I am sat in a house with a husband and three teenage boys who are all grumpy and pretending it’s not because the government just stopped them from watching porn without showing their ID first. FML

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Honest work

Anonymous - 05/11/2025 22:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend watching my sister's OnlyFans videos. I’m not sure what’s worse, that he masturbates to my sister, or that my sister actually does OnlyFans videos. I need a drink and a new boyfriend. FML

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I'm OK, I swear

Business - 06/02/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into an office at work, ready to ask everyone a question. I then blanked and forgot why I was there the second everyone turned to look at me. I just stood there, nodded, and walked out. FML

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Walk it off

Anonymous - 08/10/2025 03:00

Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML

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Overload

Anonymous - 03/04/2025 06:00 - Philippines - Addition Hills

Today, I was supposed to have a therapy session for my anxiety about work, but it got cancelled. My boss has been berating me for 2 weeks about my performance as a newbie. I feel like she doesn't like me and it's messing with my work even more. I'm dreading going to work tomorrow with the same problem. I can't get fired again. FML

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Freak out

??? - 03/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I woke up from a nap to a weird buzzing sound in my ear. Panicked, I swatted at my ear to get rid of what I thought was a fly. Instead, I hit my phone, which was on vibrate, and it fell on the tiled floor, spinning the screen into a cracked, shattered mess. FML

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Yikes

Anonymous - 29/11/2025 15:00

Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML

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You absolure freak

Frederik - 12/11/2025 03:00

Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML

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Big swinger

Anonymous - 23/05/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML

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Leaps and bounds

Anonymous - 02/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I'm well aware that this is my own fault, but I went to a friend's house after working late. Ran towards the friend's front door and hit my head a tree limb that I didn't see. Flipped over, landed on the lawn, and blacked out for a minute. I got up, was dizzy, tripped, and fell on friend's porch. Second concussion in a year. FML

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Never mix business with pleasure

Anonymous - 23/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML

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The road to hell…

Chris - 21/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to donate blood for the first time ever at the The 38th Annual Rock and Roll Up Your Sleeve Blood Drive. Unfortunately, someone with my exact name & birthdate was already in the system and 30 minutes were spent trying to correct the problem. Eventually, I got frustrated and left. No good deed goes unpunished. FML

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Isn't it supposed to be rum?

Anonymous - 07/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, buying lemon juice, beetroot, and ice cream, I was delayed at the self-checkout for an “alcohol ID check.” Indeed, I would very much like to meet the person who can scoff the amount of Tiramisu Ice Cream you’d need in order to get drunk off the 2% wine it contains. My calculations have it at 10-plus liters. FML

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Sunday funday

Anonymous - 02/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I spilled a bottle of honey on the floor while preparing breakfast. As I frantically tried to clean it up, my cat deemed it the perfect opportunity to slide and pad through the sticky mess like a slip-n-slide. Now, I have a honey-coated cat, a ruined floor, and a sticky mess to clean up before my roommates get home. FML

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Weird

Anonymous - 20/01/2026 00:00

Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML

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Bad omen

Anonymous - 08/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Victoria

Today, I got a call from the dealership I was trying to work a deal with. After finishing the paperwork at the dealership, I tried to leave on my brand new Harley Davison. It wouldn’t start, so someone came back after hours to jump start my new bike, only to wipe out in the street there, wrecking my new bike. FML

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Superhero stuff

jfc - 18/08/2025 00:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML

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Mean girls

ToxicFriends - 26/05/2025 20:00 - Germany

Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

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Body heat management

Anonymous - 06/07/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, a bit of self-explanatory wisdom: When it’s 35°C out and you need a hot water bottle for your lower half, while needing a fan for your upper half, then something in your body’s self-regulatory system does not work as it should. FML

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Infrastructure

Anonymous - 14/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML

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Enjoy your stay

Anonymous - 16/11/2025 09:00

Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML

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Snitch

Elissa - 23/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband sent me some flowers while he's away from town on a business trip. The flowers were beautiful enough that I almost forgot the screenshot his best friend had sent me, where my husband bragged that he'd "probably be drowning in dick when she gets the flowers." FML

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Reasonable

Anonymous - 18/11/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend said, "I won't marry you, but I want to spend my life with you." When I told him that upset me, he said, "My ex completely changed once we got married, and I like you as you are now." FML

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Visual effect

Anonymous - 25/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML

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Close proximity

Anonymous - 01/05/2025 09:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, I am appalled that my neighbor was fired from his job. Not because I pity him, but because now he will not only light his stinking grill under my living room window every single night, but also play his radio outside all day long. Also right under my window. His garden is HUGE by the way. FML

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Mortified

Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

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PERVERTS!

Anonymous - 22/12/2025 20:00

Today, my dad decided that the opportunity to screw his new girlfriend in a church cemetery in daylight hours was more important than being on time to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I resorted to trying to guilt trip my husband into getting his prostate checked. He asked for one good reason why he should, so I said because he has two kids who don’t want to see him get prostate cancer. His response, "Nope, not good enough, now leave me alone." FML

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Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML

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Today, I decided to go for a swim in a river to cool off. Not having a bathing suit, I went in nude. After a refreshing swim, and coming back to shore completely naked, I was greeted by a shocked young woman walking her dog. FML

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Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML

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Today, I was trying to compliment a colleague on her new hairstyle. I said, "I love how you did your hair today, it makes you look so mature!" She didn't take it as a compliment. FML

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Today, my dandruff got so bad that when I sneezed on the bus, it created a "blizzard" of dandruff, covering me, and two others in it. I'm now known as "Winter Wonderland". FML

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