Your everyday life stories

Strange system

Anonymous - 29/05/2025 09:00 - Sweden - Gothenburg

Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML

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I started a joke…

Shabby Rabbit - 03/09/2025 18:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

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Burgers? In this economy?

Anonymous - 16/07/2025 08:00 - Peru - Lima

Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML

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Classic Dad moment

Anonymous - 28/05/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

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Why not both?

Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

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Get back here

Dog the bounty hunter - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML

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Munchies

Anonymous - 13/03/2025 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was munching on almonds while sitting through a long, boring Teams meeting. I was asked a question unexpectedly, causing me to choke while trying to swallow, right as I put the camera on & turned off mute. Some it sprayed out of my nose. FML

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Flat on my ass

Slipped - 05/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to a cook out and sat on a flimsy plastic chair. Halfway through my burger, the chair gave out, and I collapsed in front of everyone, still holding the burger. Someone shouted, “At least you saved the burger!” while everyone laughed. FML

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About that "why"…

Wtf - 15/06/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I found out that the girl I like is fucking my friend. The friend who she always said was "a disgusting sexist pig" and swore she hated. The worst part is, she's right, he's a complete dick to women. I don't know how or why he got in her pants. FML

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My BFF

Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

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You gotta fight, for your right…

PinkPonyGirl - 05/02/2025 21:00 - United States

Today, I posted a status how women deserve the right to be sexually liberated and that modesty is unnecessary. Some dick felt the need to comment, “Have you looked in the mirror? In your case modesty would be an act of mercy.” Another commented, “Yeah bro, I bet they’d pay her to keep her clothes on in strip clubs.” FML

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Local dog catcher

Anonymous - 17/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I saw what I thought was my neighbor’s dog running loose down the street. I chased him for a full block, shouting, “Buster! Come here, buddy!” I finally caught him, only for an angry stranger to yell, “That’s my dog! And his name is Kevin!” FML

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Whatnot etc.

Fucked - 07/09/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML

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Stuck in the warehouse

Forklift certified - 27/09/2025 09:00

Today, I needed the big forklift at work. The one that gets hidden by people and that has nearly no keys left because they all got lost. I had organised a key and I knew where it was parked, so nothing could go wrong. When I tried to put the key in the ignition, there was only a hole. The ignition was gone. FML

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Tailored

Anonymous - 04/12/2025 20:00

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML

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Many moving parts

AlmostCarjacked - 17/07/2025 00:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML

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Groundwork for groundwork

Anonymous - 25/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to have session 0 of an online tabletop RPG campaign. My laptop's screen decided it no longer wants to display anything. I've only had this laptop for a year. FML

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You really shouldn't have!

Anonymous - 10/04/2025 11:00 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, for my birthday this year, my girlfriend gave me Herpes (type 2) and this morning she decided to wake me up to tell me she wants to see other people. But she "still loves me.” FML

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What are you doing?

BitchWhat - 02/09/2025 12:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, we're on a group family vacation with our old roommates from college. In the ten years in between, I forgot how much I hate their lazy asses already. I'm doing more than usual on this vacation, I cook, clean, and take care of their kids, only for one to ask, "What were you doing for so long?" FML

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Was it worth it?

Anonymous - 08/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was supposed to have my last interview for my dream job at a tech firm in Dubai. Instead, I spent my last few days in Dubai in hospital and now I am back in Denmark, on heavy antibiotics and painkillers, and two weeks sick leave away from a job I hate already. Then there's also a huge hospital bill to pay. FML

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Relax

Anonymous - 05/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was craving some comfort food, so I grabbed a bag of nachos from the cupboard and sat down to binge-watch Netflix. As I opened the bag, the chips exploded everywhere, spilling all over the couch, and floor. I spent the next half hour picking up crumbs while my dog and cats happily ate the scraps. FML

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Main character syndrome

What girl gets wet for Nickelback? - 18/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I started playing the piano at a party. I've been playing for 15 years, so naturally I'm pretty good. I got halfway through a song before getting shown up by some douche who started playing Nickelback on the guitar. Fucking Nickelback. FML

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So frustrated!

Anonymous - 17/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

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How could you?

Billie - 27/09/2025 22:00

Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML

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Falling and laughing

Jane_Elle02 - 18/10/2025 09:00

Today, I finally told my crush I liked him. He smiled and said, “That’s sweet, but I thought you knew I was seeing someone.” I laughed awkwardly and said, “Of course, I was just joking!” Then I immediately tripped over my own bag while leaving. FML

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A bit rich

Anonymous - 12/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it's been months that my mom has owed me $174, and every time I ask she tells me she's too poor to pay me back. Girly bought an entire 180k dollar farm with my grandparents the day after I asked (also the money was used for gas, and she guilt tripped me into giving it to her). FML

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Thanks for the help!

Bad boy - 28/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I spent all morning cleaning my house. I was feeling pretty proud of myself until I went to the bathroom, then came back to find my dog had knocked over a trash can and scattered the contents everywhere. She even knocked my favorite mug off the counter. The worst/cutest part? She looked at me as if to say, “I'm helping!” FML

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Brighten up

Anonymous - 18/11/2025 09:00

Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML

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Fix me up

Anonymous - 21/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized thanks to two injuries I have that I can't do two routines my doctor wants me to do. I strained something in my right hip so squatting causes me pain. Jogging is also out of the question because my right foot healed wrong when I sprained it, and requires pricey foot surgery to fix. FML

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Talk to me

Anonymous - 31/08/2025 22:00 - Sweden - Agunnaryd

Today, I'm sad. My wife of six years cares very little about my satisfaction. Intimacy is my receiving love language, and while we do have sex sometimes, she wants me to "take" or "use" her. I want to be felt up and be shown I'm wanted, too. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

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Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML

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Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

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Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me telling me she's pregnant. FML

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Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

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Today, I realised I hate my cat. She has 'stress incontinence', which involved her peeing all over my house. Last week I found out she'd been peeing on my stove, and I can't clean off the smell. Now whenever I try to cook some food, the kitchen is flooded with the scent of burning cat pee. FML

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