Miscellaneous Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow...

fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

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Stories that celebrate women in a light-hearted and humorous way, because equality can also be a source of joy! …

Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

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Cart Narcs will get ya!

May - 10/01/2021 20:01

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML

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'Murica

Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

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NorwegianMadman - 22/12/2016 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

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creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

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Not so Karate Kid

Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

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Anonymous - 24/11/2010 02:37 - Canada

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

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Thanks Dad

Anonymous - 19/10/2022 06:00

Today, and every time I want to try something new, my dad starts pointing out why it’s a stupid idea, or how it will obviously go wrong, and gets himself so worked up that in the end he’s just shouting at me while I cower, yet it also makes him mad when I just sit in my room with no hobbies. FML

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Help!

Anonymous - 18/04/2022 04:00

Today, my dad is a drill sergeant, which is bad enough, but my boyfriend wants to meet him and my mom. This cannot go well, all the jokes and comedy movies say this cannot go well at all. FML

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theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

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ForkymeetsPorky 15

Friday 29 November 2013 2:21

And he's absolutely 100% correct.

metallica_wins 20

Friday 29 November 2013 2:20

There's no mercy. He's gotta take advantage of you, y'know?

imasilveira 1

Saturday 30 November 2013 17:21

My dad did the same thing to me

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

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Today, I gave myself burns on my inner thigh by dropping my curling iron. Instead of a cute date at a restaurant, I had a date with the doctors in the emergency room. FML

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Today, I was protesting a newly-opened gun store near my house, demanding safer streets and fewer firearms. My husband and the troglodytes he works with turned up and went inside to browse. Later, he raged at me for embarrassing him in front of his buddies. FML

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Today, a woman I’ve liked for years falsely claimed to be strung out on crystal meth rather than just turning me down. FML

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Today, I'm trying to get over my OCD by wearing 2 different shoes. FML

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Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

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