Miscellaneous Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow...

fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

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Cart Narcs will get ya!

May - 10/01/2021 20:01

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML

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'Murica

Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

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NorwegianMadman - 22/12/2016 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

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creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

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Not so Karate Kid

Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

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Anonymous - 24/11/2010 02:37 - Canada

Today, I was forced to go to the mall with my dad. He wore a bear suit the entire time. FML

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Thanks Dad

Anonymous - 19/10/2022 06:00

Today, and every time I want to try something new, my dad starts pointing out why it’s a stupid idea, or how it will obviously go wrong, and gets himself so worked up that in the end he’s just shouting at me while I cower, yet it also makes him mad when I just sit in my room with no hobbies. FML

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Help!

Anonymous - 18/04/2022 04:00

Today, my dad is a drill sergeant, which is bad enough, but my boyfriend wants to meet him and my mom. This cannot go well, all the jokes and comedy movies say this cannot go well at all. FML

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theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

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ForkymeetsPorky 15

Friday 29 November 2013 2:21

And he's absolutely 100% correct.

metallica_wins 20

Friday 29 November 2013 2:20

There's no mercy. He's gotta take advantage of you, y'know?

faygo_chick 5

Friday 29 November 2013 6:58

That's awesome!

sabrinalynn22 19

Friday 29 November 2013 7:15

He has a point.

jeragonm 15

Friday 29 November 2013 7:48

That's why my family wants me along! Hapkido to the rescue!

nemcali 34

Friday 29 November 2013 10:54

Can you come with me too?

Lilxpie 18

Friday 29 November 2013 15:19

I guess he watched the South Park episode about black Friday...

azisles02 17

Friday 29 November 2013 19:05

You should start convincing him to my slogan about Black Friday "if you can't get it online, it's not worth it."

sanecatlady 13

Friday 29 November 2013 19:58

Black Friday is just so stupid. Just the day before Americans were sitting around and giving thanks for what they do have, and then the very next day it's like having a war with the Natives and slaughtering them to steal their land all over again. Ick.