The Top

captainwhiskers tells us more.

Hey guys, OP here. Thank you so much for voting for this. So after my conductor pointed at me, I pointed to myself, and he nodded. Apparently the person behind me did the exact same thing. He was alright with it and looking back, it's actually pretty funny. Thanks

assholecat tells us more.

Hey y'all, this is OP. In regards to my post: The elderly lady is a very close family friend of my family who still lives by herself but is being taken care of by her family. She's a lovely lady, really. I'm not worried about her stealing my cat - her dead cat and my cat look very similar. If he's bringing her joy - great! She and kitty can hang as much as they want! To the people who seemed to hint at me not feeding my cat... if you ever saw him, you would know that he is probably the best fed cat in the whole world. He is enormous. I have perfectly good food for him to eat - which I would feed him if he turned up for meal times. I don't feed him whenever he's hungry because he's a big ol' fat cat and I don't want him getting any fatter. (He won't be getting breakfast from me anymore - when I found out that my neighbour was lovingly feeding my kitty for me in place of her own, I went and brought her some cat food.) In regards to the "your cat is an opportunist! That's what cats are!" comments - no argument from me. As far as "don't call your cat an asshole!" comments go... my cat is an asshole: he methodically waits by her door every single morning at the same time that she routinely feeds her own cat, even though he knows (I'm sure he does, simply because the other cat isn't there) that her cat is no longer with us. My cat is both an opportunist and an asshole. And no, I don't believe that my cat can understand me when I call him an asshole. Anywho, that's it. I'm out. Peace!

shandrith tells us more.

Hi, I'm the one that posted this FML. I know that cheating wasn't a good thing to do, but that wasn't the point of the FML. Had I simply found out that he was cheating with someone else, of either gender as I knew that he was bi when we entered the relationship, I would have said nothing. The reason I posted it, and the reason I do consider it to be an FML is because of the absolute ridiculousness of the fact that we were cheating with the SAME PERSON!!! The three of us have spoken and decided that none of us are going to continue seeing each other. The BF and I were obviously both deeply unhappy, and the third part took advantage of both of us. Ex and I will probably remain friends, and chalk this up to one of those errors in life that are hilarious five years later, but hurt like hell when they happen. #3 can go to hell for all I care

jesspacheco27 tells us more.

Yes longest 3 hours of my life. Worst part is she'd remove her hand and smell it.

IronSkye tells us more.

IronSkye 7

Okay, I'm glad this FML got published. Thanks, guys! However, looks like I have some questions to answer. Firstly, my sister is almost eleven. The day before, we went shopping, and dad bought foir bottles of beer for a game he was going to watch in two days with his friends. My sister took the bottles and put the beer in cups, it totally looked like lemonade. She even put some lemons next to them! Yes, it was light beer, fortunately. But still alcohol. The kids told their mums the juice tasted funny, so they took a sip and figured out what it actually was. In the end, my sister's excuse was that she knew lemonade wouldn't have been successful anyway.

alicemassie tells us more.

alicemassie 0

Okay, (it's OP) I need to make a couple of clarifications. I didn't include this part because there wasn't enough room in the FML submit thing, but after I told my mom I was referring to my business partner, she told me that she thinks I'm a lesbian not because of her fantastic maternal intuition, but because she thinks my husband is too much of an "ass bitch" for me to actually love him, and because I'm athletic. I wanted her to meet my business partner because my parents are involved in my business