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Wardrobe malfunction

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 09:00

Today, I wore new gym leggings to spin class. Ten minutes in, the instructor gently pulled me aside to whisper, “Those leggings, they’re see-through.” I had been doing squats in front of a full-length mirror the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 362

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 04/10/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter announced that she's pregnant. I'm going to be a 37 year-old grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 283

Nice, awful, try

By Get a job you bum! - 20/10/2025 22:00

Today, my desperate cousin "visited" my house demanding that I pay him back his mom's flatbed scanner I broke, in the tune of $3000, which should cover for "interest." Yes, I remember: Our aunt bought it for $29.95 on Black Friday. My sister is the one who broke it, and then blamed it on me. All of this happened back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 53

Relatable

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 200

Shat myself

By Giselle - 02/11/2025 09:00

Today, my coworkers threw me a surprise birthday party. When I walked in and they yelled “SURPRISE!”, I screamed, dropped my coffee, and reflexively shouted, “Who are you people?!” before realizing it was for me. They’re still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 272

Flustered

By Bradley is alone - 09/11/2025 09:00

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 545

It's the thought that counts

By cakelady - 16/11/2025 12:00

Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 221

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 09:00

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 240

No kinkshaming!

By Yuck - 31/12/2024 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boyfriend told me that I'm "almost" his perfect woman, and that if I wanted to be the perfect woman, I needed to start eating his ass. Yeah, no. See you never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 278

Biblically plagued

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 08:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, after a dry spell of a year, I finally managed to get a girl to come over to hook up. Things were going great until we both found out my bed was swarming with ants. I don't know how that could even happen. It's as if God himself is trying to stop me from getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 219

Pure evil

By Not even a believer - 30/01/2025 19:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, for the Lunar New Year, my mom ordered me to put 8 horses in a specific location in the house. I used my limited edition My Little Pony figures. She got furious, had them destroyed, and cussed me out for bringing misfortune. How? Four of them had horns, whereas "4" means "death", and the horn represents evil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 213

Losing my mind

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I checked my jacket pocket for my smartphone, all while still holding my smartphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 385

Rosy picture

By Heartbroken - 03/03/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my son complained that he didn't want to go to school. My husband asked, "Want to swap? You can go work all day, come home tired, and your only reward is a whiny wife and bratty child griping and complaining and expecting you to fix every problem." Part of me died when I heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 462

That chapter…

By Torn AF - 08/03/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, my new husband told me his ex is 10 weeks pregnant from having “chapter closing sex” before getting married. He said he wasn’t expecting this to happen because he had used a condom. He always told me he fervently hated his ex. Our honeymoon and wedding last week was over $50,000, which is nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 137

Job performance

By AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 344

Toxic assholes

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard some gossip and learned I’m apparently the department weirdo everybody tolerates, but don’t actually like. It’s like high school all over again. Now, everywhere I go, I can feel my coworkers tolerating me just for being myself. I’ve already cried 3 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 151

It's my passion

By Anonymous - 26/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a Whatsapp message to my boss that was meant for my coworker. It said, “I’m so over this job, I can’t wait to quit!” I tried deleting it immediately, but the notification pinged right as he was sitting next to me in a meeting. He smirked and said, “Good to know you’re so passionate about this job.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 619

Mucky

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that my body wash bottle's top came open last night without me realizing it. Space is limited in my bedroom so the only place I could put it (I live with my parents and they can be absentminded) was behind the TV. The good news is it didn't get on the TV; the bad news is it's all over the stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 365

I got heels, they’re made of plywood

By Morrissey - 06/04/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 401

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 82

Kinda weird

By lily98 - 16/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I have been eating more and still not gaining weight, so my dad took away my PS5 until I gain 20 pounds. According to him, “A woman should be curvy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 83

Stop moving!

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I had to try and capture some of my dog’s pee to get tests done. During the attempt, he pissed all up my arm, the ordeal drawing a crowd of spectators who no doubt think I’ve gone mad. After all that, the sample captured wasn’t enough to be tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 103

Red flag

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got turned down by a woman I like because she said a man in his mid 30’s who’s not already married with kids is a major red flag. I would very much like to be married with kids but it’s just never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 56

Brainrot

By Anonymous - 21/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I called my new boyfriend by my ex’s name. Twice. In the same conversation. I’m having trouble saying anything while looking at him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 489

Any advice?

By aw jeez - 24/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 110

Modern love

By Angang - 07/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three months only posts me on his Close Friends stories instead of his main stories, because he’s afraid of hurting his close female friend who he'd put in the friendzone. Apparently, she can’t stand him moving on with me. He values her opinion more than his relationship with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 116

This is fine

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was dealing with my nightmares quite efficiently by drinking right before I go to sleep, presto, no nightmares and no problems when I woke up. My girlfriend decided to make a whole issue of it by telling my parents, who planned an intervention and want me to waste time seeing a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 613

Nostalgia for a time that never existed

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I woke up on my day off as a family man. Yesterday I played an AI game where I went back to my college days in the 2000s. I recreated those days as they were, and it brought back many memories. The problem? The game let me create the perfect girlfriend. I regret dating my now ex-wife back then more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 494

Woowoo alert!

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 09:00 - France - Nantes

Today, as a student in a science preparatory class and a geology enthusiast, I walked into a rare stone shop. A saleswoman was praising the healing properties of a piece of malachite to a customer. Curious, I looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh! Raw copper ore!" I got banned from the shop. Occupational hazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 107

Classic been there, done that

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 14:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 90

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while playing ping pong, my brother got mad that he lost and threw the paddle at my head, causing me to fall backwards into the TV mounted on the wall. Now I have a concussion and have to pay to replace the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 401

You deserved it 221

Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 323

Today, my best friend told me how his batshit insane girlfriend keeps questioning his sexuality and thinks we're screwing behind her back. He's so desperate for a relationship that he's decided to stop hanging out with me. Goodbye seven years of friendship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 548

You deserved it 1 815

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 380

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 876

You deserved it 6 918

Today, I’m not sure what to call it, but I think I just got COVID-SWATted when a bunch of police turned up to my house after someone told them I was partying with over 50 people, breaking social distancing. In a one-bed flat, with barely enough room for 3 people to sit down at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 107