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Scammers gonna scam

By Leah Magers - 19/07/2025 05:00 - United States - Ames

Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 109

Maybe that's a good idea?

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 09:00 - Germany - Ergoldsbach

Today, I told my parents about my life problems, after they forced me to open up. Now they want to send me to a psychiatrist. Don't trust anyone. FML

agreeclassic 342

vote type 1 173

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 08/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I sent a screenshot of my ex’s new partner to my best friend with a caption saying, “She looks like a melted candle.” Of course, I sent it directly to my ex. He replied with, “She’s right next to me.” FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 618

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 06:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

agreeclassic 216

vote type 1 382

Street cred

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML

agreeclassic 374

vote type 1 67

Those were some hefty dogs

By NeedsANewPhone - 23/09/2025 03:00

Today, after getting my phone fixed last week because my daughter dropped it and it landed on a corner, I dropped it again at the dog park and several big dogs fighting with my dog stepped on it. One of them cracked the screen again. FML

agreeclassic 275

vote type 1 154

Noise annoys

By AAAAAGH - 03/10/2025 20:00

Today, like every day, I have misophonia. Also today, like every day, my mom is on a video call with my baby niece and is making irritating sound effects to entertain her. I hate the fact that my mom making her granddaughter happy makes me irrationally furious. I'm such a piece of shit. FML

agreeclassic 393

vote type 1 123

Favorite

By ImmaLoser - 05/10/2025 15:00

Today, the girl I have a crush on posted on her Instagram story: “Best present ever from the most amazing guy ever!” One of my friends gave her the same item I got her for her birthday last month. When I gave it to her, she nonchalantly said, “Cool, thanks.” FML

agreeclassic 391

vote type 1 122

Strange verbiage

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to compliment a woman’s scarf by saying, “That’s a nice wrap!” She misheard me and thought I said, “Nice rack!” She glared at me and loudly said, “Excuse me?!” in front of about twenty people. FML

agreeclassic 309

vote type 1 112

Here you go

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 413

vote type 1 134

Frisky

By Anonymous - 22/10/2025 09:00

Today, my mum and dad decided that now I’m 18 they’re not gonna sneak around in their own house anymore. So now, when they’re in the mood, they just run past me giggling, hands all over each other, upstairs, and I can hear them up there. FML

agreeclassic 389

vote type 1 190

Nervous

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 09:00

Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML

agreeclassic 314

vote type 1 148

DIY

By Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML

agreeclassic 142

vote type 1 319

On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

By Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 74

Britain's got talons

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street when a pigeon flew into my head and got caught in my hair. To make matters worse, a group of kids thought it was hilarious and started filming me with their phones while I screamed in terror. FML

agreeclassic 441

vote type 1 112

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

agreeclassic 383

vote type 1 76

Karen in seat 14A

By Dammit - 16/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

agreeclassic 186

vote type 1 464

Are you sure she wasn't messing with you?

By Bengt - 27/02/2025 15:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I was chatting with an American woman I met on a dating app. All was going well until she told me the names of her two kids. She had seriously named them "Trump" and "Maga." FML

agreeclassic 551

vote type 1 142

Who wants to be a millionaire?

By Not telling you in a million years - 03/03/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML

agreeclassic 205

vote type 1 281

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 18:00 - United States - Fox River Grove

Today, I had the abortion my husband and I agreed on, after multiple forms of birth control failed. His family somehow found out, and now they're all mad at us for not telling them I was ever pregnant, with a child we never wanted, and took precautions to avoid creating. FML

agreeclassic 576

vote type 1 199

Unwelcome guest

By cpguru24 - 20/03/2025 17:00 - United States - Bellows Falls

Today, my mom's dog bit my dad's girlfriend in the face. At my wedding. We did not know she was bringing her dog. FML

agreeclassic 467

vote type 1 66

Monday monday

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I opened my lunch at work to discover that my sandwich was a soggy mess. The Tupperware I'd put it in was a piece of crap, and all the mayo had leaked out. I tried to salvage it but then spilled the whole thing in my lap. I ended up eating my lunch with a plastic fork, and even my fingers, like an angry animal. FML

agreeclassic 338

vote type 1 130

Never going outside again

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got back home after I decided on a whim to embark on a solo adventure in the Australian Outback. My truck got stranded due to rising floodwaters, and I was stuck for days without communication. Rescue finally came, but now I'm reconsidering any solo further trips. FML

agreeclassic 175

vote type 1 438

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 20:00 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I slept with a best friend after 32 years of him trying. He is visiting from overseas. I just found out he's had a girlfriend for 17 years, who he forgot to mention, and I’m kind of in love already. FML

agreeclassic 201

vote type 1 405

Cat fight

By Mishka - 03/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML

agreeclassic 193

vote type 1 438

Time sensitive

By Landin - 12/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Vernal

Today, my girlfriend left me at 11pm after leading me on for 5 months, all because she lost interest. I wasted so much time, money, and emotions on her, and never received them from her. FML

agreeclassic 376

vote type 1 280

Busted

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss caught me coming to work late. I panicked and told him I’d been there all day. He knows I do a lot of editing for Wikipedia, so he actually found my publicly listed edits showing I’d been publishing edits from my normal account, i.e. my home PC, when I should have been at work. Oops. FML

agreeclassic 64

vote type 1 926

Language, Timothy

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML

agreeclassic 758

vote type 1 70

Small talk

By Marina - 21/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

agreeclassic 230

vote type 1 515

Corporate stooge

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

agreeclassic 514

vote type 1 91

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

agreeclassic 33 975

vote type 1 4 450

Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML

agreeclassic 28 112

vote type 1 2 355

I must admit, sometimes I am the coworker...

agreeclassic 294

vote type 1 90

Today, I have to spend the whole day in a moving truck with my dad. He had beans for dinner, and it's too cold to crack open a window. FML

agreeclassic 42 094

vote type 1 4 087

Today, I discovered that spicy ground beef bits are the perfect size to become lodged in one's nasal cavity when vomited back up. FML

agreeclassic 22 151

vote type 1 1 902

Today, my date left the restaurant because I didn’t agree with his opinions about the mentally disabled or mixed race couples, etc. Basically, a real scumbag. He also left me the bill, and it turned out he had all the most expensive menu items, including a £120 bottle of wine. It cost over £300 total. FML

agreeclassic 2 373

vote type 1 364