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By alaina2001 - 07/05/2015 22:22 - United States - Massillon

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 543

You deserved it 2 697

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 396

You deserved it 39 763

By brokenhearted - 05/12/2012 11:29 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 202

You deserved it 2 621

Hair-raising

By Anonymous - 04/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 744

You deserved it 2 362

By Anonymous - 24/02/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend snuck into my house and hid in my closet. Knowing that I have a phobia of people jumping out of closets, he nonetheless thought it would be funny to see how I'd react. I had a panic attack and was taken to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 335

You deserved it 6 861

By cs - 13/02/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 807

You deserved it 4 982

By gali-ma - 07/02/2015 12:52 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 566

You deserved it 3 626

By Anonymous - 19/09/2013 18:12 - United States - Tustin

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 948

You deserved it 41 154

By nobieb - 20/08/2013 16:28 - Canada - Welland

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 164

You deserved it 3 620

By hangman - 01/08/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 4 540

By lyssamarie316 - 01/10/2011 00:23 - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 4 763

By xRyu - 09/10/2014 00:30 - United States - Denver

Today, I found out via a voicemail from my boss that my hours are being cut. He said, "They said I can't fire you, so you'll only be getting 20 hours a week. Starting today." Who'd they give my other 20 hours to? The one person that calls off sick almost daily and is never on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 248

You deserved it 2 850

Conked out

By bummer - 25/11/2009 00:44 - United States

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 743

You deserved it 2 185

By girl - 22/11/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 320

You deserved it 6 464

By I'm donnnneeee - 21/09/2015 03:26 - United States - Slidell

Today, I finished a 6-part project. It took me 7 hours of straight work because my partner decided I should do it alone. I then learned that the reason my partner did not help me was because the teacher e-mailed the leader of every group, saying the project was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 613

You deserved it 2 441

You should see someone

By HereForJAMMF - 09/11/2016 17:50

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 413

You deserved it 6 330

By so_this_is_me - 13/08/2015 17:12 - Canada - Brampton

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 863

You deserved it 3 558

Lil Tooth

By randomusername99 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 229

You deserved it 4 844

By coffee - 07/03/2013 13:44 - United States

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 055

You deserved it 37 158

By taylorbrown97 - 07/06/2015 19:05 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 875

You deserved it 1 641

taylorbrown97 tells us more.

taylorbrown97 23

Monday 8 June 2015 20:39

Hi guys, OP here! To clarify, by donuts she meant those "Chinese" sugar donuts that you can get at cheap buffets (at least where I live, in rural Ohio). Instead, we are relatively more of a high end Chinese restaurant, a family owned place that could be compared to PF Changs. So there is no way we would have those cheap donuts anyways! But for whatever reason she thought that fried wontons were the same things as those fried sugar donuts. She was incredibly upset and basically demanded that we give her the fried donuts that we supposedly offered on our website. Basically, working as a server/host in a restaurant is fun when you get to deal with unreasonable people! Thanks for the publish!

By Lulu - 05/12/2013 23:39 - United States - Imperial

Today, I came home to a noise complaint letter taped to my apartment door. I haven't been home in over a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 271

You deserved it 2 388

By Che_likes_you - 12/12/2014 15:15 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 154

You deserved it 2 863

By strwbrry - 27/12/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 326

You deserved it 2 868

Truth

By why - 04/11/2015 01:13 - United States

Today, it's easier to buy a house than it is to get out of a gym contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 863

You deserved it 2 187

Rough patch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 478

You deserved it 2 894

Quality family time

By Kjer - 24/03/2013 00:38 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 179

You deserved it 41 753

By Julia - 02/08/2010 09:50 - New Zealand

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 764

You deserved it 38 306

By bug20 - 18/07/2016 09:27 - United States - Wooster

Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 282

You deserved it 1 006

Twatted

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Mclean

Today, a girl I follow on Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 277

You deserved it 4 264

By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 20:41 - Canada - Brampton

Spicy

Today, I had to do a presentation in front of my entire school. I was very nervous, so I used the old trick of picturing everyone naked. Everyone then got a good view of my erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 842

You deserved it 16 795

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Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 541

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom passed away when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered, "Women drivers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 972

You deserved it 459

Today, I feel both happy and jealous of my father. It's his birthday and he has received over 100 times more phone calls than me. I'd had two: one from my local bank manager and one from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 330

You deserved it 295

Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his Facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 462

You deserved it 8 736

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 157

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over two years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 419

You deserved it 4 657