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By Where is it coming from?! - 10/06/2014 02:46 - United States - Brightwood

Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 007

You deserved it 6 945

By Ignitingmylightsaber - 18/10/2009 11:29 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 027

You deserved it 3 571

By :( - 28/03/2014 20:25 - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 737

You deserved it 4 830

By onebadwave - 21/08/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a smart idea to walk out on the pier while the waves were 6 feet tall. I was having fun getting "splashed" by the waves crashing over until one wave knocked me over and dragged me 20 feet across the hard concrete pier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 646

You deserved it 46 543

Family! Woohoo!

By Abandoned - 15/02/2010 07:28 - United States

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 918

You deserved it 2 465

By DuChaillu - 27/01/2010 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 197

You deserved it 27 894

Rude awakening

By blackcat37 - 28/09/2013 10:53 - United States - Independence

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 634

You deserved it 4 927

By lola1313 - 18/09/2013 02:17 - United States - Downers Grove

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 556

You deserved it 41 122

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:46 - Australia

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 947

You deserved it 4 489

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 07:23 - Australia

Today, I was doing a study on homeless people and how they manage to stay alive on the streets. Turns out the one I was studying today was given more money than I make in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 431

You deserved it 2 958

By SoVeryMonday - 30/11/2009 18:01 - Canada

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 175

You deserved it 9 532

By haayloo - 19/10/2010 02:40 - Canada

Today, I had just finished re-completing all my assignments because I had lost my USB last week. I reached into my pocket for gum, instead I found the USB that I had apparently lost. I spent my weekend alone rather than spending time with my friends. I don't have another weekend off for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 299

You deserved it 29 222

By ducklover1 - 19/06/2012 03:31 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 683

You deserved it 2 178

By anonymous - 30/07/2014 02:36 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 042

You deserved it 7 483

By grossedout - 08/11/2009 21:11 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got home from a small vacation. Before I left, I set up cameras in my room to see if my roommate was stealing my money. Turns out she wasn't. However, she does borrow my personal "adult toy" whenever I'm out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 986

You deserved it 3 939

By dummy441 - 21/04/2009 03:14 - United States

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 797

You deserved it 68 207

By Mem - 30/05/2014 20:07 - Sweden - Hudiksvall

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 5 316

The Royal wave

By momoftheyearedition - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Landenberg

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 343

You deserved it 2 508

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 09/03/2014 19:31 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 163

You deserved it 3 282

By McWhopper - 08/05/2015 17:40 - United States - Brookline

Today, I found out that maggots can live inside of a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 625

You deserved it 4 361

By turdburger - 02/09/2009 05:56 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 199

You deserved it 7 117

Cough up

By Anonymous - 18/11/2013 18:37 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 404

You deserved it 2 917

Mum

By mummer11 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 445

You deserved it 3 213

Casual hate speech

By coveredupforfun - 04/02/2015 03:13 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I saw my coworker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 085

You deserved it 6 210

By buttercup92 - 14/03/2016 01:41 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I called to see if my bridesmaid's dress was ready. They told me it had already been picked up, the bride's mom picked up the dress and got rid of it because she doesn't want me in the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 610

You deserved it 1 268

buttercup92 tells us more.

buttercup92 23

Tuesday 15 March 2016 4:59

Hi! I'm the OP. I did pay for the dress, and after talking to the store they are replacing he dress free of charge. Apparently this has happened several times. You would think that they would start making sure you're the person supposed to be picking up the dress. The bride has apologized for her mom. (I think the mom should apologize not the bride) Right now she's not talking to her mom. As for why she doesn't like me, I have no idea. She's always been so nice to me until this incident. Luckily the wedding isn't until July so we have time. Sorry for the long reply! Thanks everyone!

By RipeFlame - 14/01/2015 03:05 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 2 868

RipeFlame tells us more.

RipeFlame 18

Saturday 17 January 2015 19:35

Hey guys. Thanks for the support! I did file a restraining order and we are waiting to see what the outcome is. I said she is absolutely obsessive and she won't leave me alone.

Self improvement

By little tooth - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 332

You deserved it 9 446

By Albert - 27/08/2012 22:16 - United States - Dover

Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 538

You deserved it 2 085

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 292

You deserved it 9 276

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 633

You deserved it 2 737

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Today, after my 4 year-old was so excited to be a big sister, hugging my belly every chance she got, counting down the days till the due date, my son was born this morning. She took one look at him and declared, “I don’t like him, leave him here, do we have to keep him?” then started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 149

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 995

You deserved it 2 188

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 751

You deserved it 7 583

Today, I went to Walmart with all my birthday money, which I had in a wallet with my permit and everything else. I was sat on a bench looking for items for my iPod Touch However… I left my wallet behind. Turns out an old couple stole it. I got my shit jacked by grandparents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 421

You deserved it 2 515

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 505

You deserved it 3 211

Today, after 3 years at my job I received a 14% raise. I was informed I will be transitioned from hourly to salary. I will now be making $1500 LESS than I made last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 698

You deserved it 3 367