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Hey all, im OP (although as my first time ever commenting, I hope this actually works!) Of course, in the end, my daughter fell asleep. although it was around 1am, a time I thought no five year old was physically capable of acheiving. You might say it was almost worse the next day, as she was very grumpy and tired! I forbid my son from attending a party (supposedly the 'party of the year'), and have spoken to his school who are arranging a meeting with him to discuss ways of bettering his homework skills and general motivation. Of course he probably despises of me, but I dont want him to look back on school like I have and regret he didn't work hard enough, let alone AT ALL. Thanks for all the comments, and hopefully I can interact more on this site with the community.

Jump scare

By soonaked - 30/01/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 290

You deserved it 5 966

By Anonymous - 17/06/2014 12:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 381

You deserved it 11 554

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 14:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 717

You deserved it 5 624

By robbed - 03/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 322

You deserved it 24 364

Drying times

By helplesssssss - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 411

You deserved it 15 348

By Sally19863 - 30/08/2010 16:18 - South Africa

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 004

You deserved it 3 075

Hangry time

By ohforcheese - 19/01/2012 20:19 - United States

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 650

You deserved it 8 565

By jeremiah - 06/11/2011 08:21 - Australia

Today, I let my brother borrow my car, as he had a job interview. I told him the tank was nearly empty and gave him $20 to put some petrol in it. Ten minutes later, he calls me, saying the car won't start. He filled it up with diesel. It's a petrol car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 789

You deserved it 4 628

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 00:55 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 076

You deserved it 4 684

By Wormy - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 233

You deserved it 30 445

By boytoy - 02/09/2009 21:23 - Canada

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 111

You deserved it 18 953

Oh, totally

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 659

You deserved it 4 566

Waiting around

By Anonymous - 04/06/2009 14:46 - Australia

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 527

You deserved it 3 600

Lost in translation

By tubby - 21/06/2012 20:28 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 377

You deserved it 3 643

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 7 517

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 01:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 724

You deserved it 6 557

By jitiizer - 19/09/2012 17:02 - Netherlands - Leeuwarden

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 977

You deserved it 2 328

By OfCourse - 27/06/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 3 433

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 5 734

Lol_0127 tells us more.

Lol_0127 0

Monday 18 October 2010 19:07

I'm the OP. Let me clarify a few things. He's not suffering finacially. He makes $60,000 a year. I make $20,000. He bought a $3000 ring which was more than enough for me. It's beautiful. I don't want a massive rock. I don't spend all his money. I support myself. We live together. I pay half the rent