The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By randomjulz - 16/06/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 285

You deserved it 9 982

Assumptions

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry, it gets better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 883

You deserved it 3 102

I wanna see the referee's nose hairs

By LCDhell - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my husband bought a new 80-inch TV. Not only can we barely afford it, but it also blocks our doorways no matter where we put it. He refuses to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 902

You deserved it 4 138

By Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 383

You deserved it 6 887

By Anonymous - 14/05/2011 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 787

You deserved it 5 159

By Anonymous - 10/06/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 329

You deserved it 50 318

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 51

By adogg18 - 29/05/2011 08:12 - United States

Today, I let my son drive us home. After just 10 feet, he crashed into a parked cop car. It was my squad car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 308

You deserved it 15 433

By stuff2710 - 05/03/2012 00:27 - United States

Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 428

You deserved it 48 086

Home improvement

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 4 146

By Anonymous - 17/08/2009 20:02 - Canada

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 981

You deserved it 18 048

By shit... - 05/07/2009 18:16 - United States

Today, I sent out my monthly curriculum list to the parents of the kids in my math class so they can see what their children will be learning. I usually end my e-mails with the phrase 'math is power'. Now, 154 parents got an e-mail saying 'meth is power'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 948

You deserved it 23 814

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 857

You deserved it 2 583

By axel519 - 31/12/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 3 065

By .... - 08/06/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 858

You deserved it 3 279

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:43 - Canada

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 294

You deserved it 2 464

Overreaction

By rejected - 13/04/2012 05:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 857

You deserved it 9 449

By travelsickness - 10/08/2010 13:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to endure a long drive from Poland to England. We weren't allowed to open our windows. My mum threw up. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 527

You deserved it 3 368

By CrappyValentine - 14/02/2012 18:56 - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 378

You deserved it 37 918

By tempted to become single - 21/10/2012 16:00 - United States - Atwater

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 3 183

By SingleStrongArm - 03/05/2013 05:16 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 707

You deserved it 9 770

By lahiros - 30/05/2014 22:05 - Australia - Bentleigh East

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 670

You deserved it 7 541

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 37 034

By Anonymous - 22/02/2012 16:47 - United States

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 212

You deserved it 45 117

The GOAT

By stunned - 15/03/2010 15:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 919

You deserved it 3 965

By Ramis182 - 03/10/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 778

You deserved it 6 031

Ready to rumble

By rawkdinosawr - 09/05/2009 15:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a massive argument with my boyfriend, in which he called me stupid repeatedly. I stomped out of his house and sent a very angry text to my best friend about him. She didn't text back. Then my boyfriend texted, "My girlfriend is so stupid, she can't even text the right number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 058

You deserved it 77 097

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 865

You deserved it 3 116

By mizzleshizzle - 09/03/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 297

You deserved it 64 806

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 753

You deserved it 59 969

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 938

You deserved it 1 037

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 309

You deserved it 5 990

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 496

You deserved it 2 328

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 411

You deserved it 1 847

Today, I've been bedridden with the flu for two weeks. My boyfriend only got concerned because I haven't done any laundry, and was worried about what the girls at the coffee shop across from work would think if he turned up wearing the same clothes two days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 134

Today, I went to let my dog inside because she was barking. I saw my neighbour standing at my fence, screaming that she was going to kill my dog with a shovel for barking at her. My dog was only doing it because my neighbor was putting her trash in my garbage bin. This isn't a new thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 143