Miscellaneous: Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2010 13:44 - United States

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

agreeclassic 34 203

vote type 1 2 724

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By Anonymous - 20/08/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 17:39 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

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Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

agreeclassic 1 788

vote type 1 755

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

agreeclassic 21 283

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By whipplewhip - 30/06/2013 04:21 - United States

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

agreeclassic 54 457

vote type 1 3 633

By Emmy - 02/10/2011 06:36 - United States

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

agreeclassic 35 396

vote type 1 3 366

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 25 927

vote type 1 2 174

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

agreeclassic 39 336

vote type 1 5 079

Let it all out

By Vomitron - 02/04/2021 00:30

Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML

agreeclassic 920

vote type 1 127

By alephnull - 02/02/2011 21:07 - Canada

Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML

agreeclassic 31 126

vote type 1 3 137

zom_fml 10

Sunday 17 January 2010 20:09

Who on earth put YDI? :s That's really gross.. are they now an ex-friend?

Jayjay210 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 19:57

Lmfao, @ #2.... otherwise, punch them and say "wtf, Disgusting"

Comments

alexlovescandy 3

Wednesday 18 July 2012 4:34

I'd be so pissed!

appqaslol 5

Friday 21 September 2012 15:03

Hahahaha!

umerin 32

Friday 20 June 2014 3:29

That's disgusting. Sorry OP.

br3lynn 6

Saturday 29 August 2015 20:38

I wish I bi#ch would

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Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "Eat it, eat it!" FML

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