Transportation: Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first...

By huj - 25/09/2010 21:49 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

agreeclassic 39 101

vote type 1 4 318

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Timing is crucial in comedy

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 06:44 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

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I am the passenger…

By northernlass - 01/10/2010 14:32 - United States

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

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Unflattered

By lindsay - 28/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at the airport walking around, killing time. There was a man about twenty years older than me who kept on eyeballing me, and it really wasn't flattering. I get on the plane and guess who I get to sit next to. FML

agreeclassic 1 797

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By Anonymous - 22/06/2012 14:11 - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

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By Burp - 19/04/2012 12:37 - United States

Today, I traveled by plane for the first time. Once in the air, I was absolutely terrorized by the whole experience. Luckily, they had free booze on board, so I necked some to steady my nerves. Unfortunately, the vodka mixed with air turbulence made me spurt some vomit into my lap. FML

agreeclassic 10 478

vote type 1 25 004

Shush

By Nutty - 24/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to this cute guy on an airplane who I had started talking to. There was still an empty seat between us and it seemed like there weren't any more passengers boarding the plane. I then asked out loud, "I wonder if anyone will sit between us?" He replied "I hope so." FML

agreeclassic 47 249

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PTSD

By anonymous - 18/06/2010 17:25 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

agreeclassic 39 355

vote type 1 3 777

Keep your distance

By Oddy - 17/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML

agreeclassic 1 285

vote type 1 96

By PlaneGuy - 25/02/2017 01:00 - Reunion - Saint-denis

Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML

agreeclassic 6 226

vote type 1 744

Great start

By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML

agreeclassic 43 910

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JZhang91 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 1:16

his body is ready

MzMegs 20

Sunday 26 September 2010 1:16

Gotta hate perverts. :(

Comments

iRichiq 3

Sunday 26 September 2010 23:35

that's so wrong that it's hilarious

natilie69 0

Monday 27 September 2010 0:58

if the guy is hot does it really matter.....

Aerdna87 0

Monday 27 September 2010 2:07

Hihihi I LOL'd

Aerdna87 0

Monday 27 September 2010 2:07

Hihihi I LOL'd

dannyswin 0

Monday 27 September 2010 2:12

is your name Katy perry?

buggybeauty 0

Monday 27 September 2010 4:59

YDI for being a tease. put those things away!

Monmon_la 0

Monday 27 September 2010 6:34

That come back is an EPIC WIN

kitkat312 0

Monday 27 September 2010 7:31

should've made sure he knew.. look. don't touch!

serenity40 6

Monday 27 September 2010 9:46

take it as a compliment. he could have said nice rack baby!

sparty12 2

Monday 27 September 2010 16:52

classy...

Joshbnuss 0

Monday 27 September 2010 18:07

Epic baywatch

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Today, I agreed to go to a restaurant because I hadn’t really been listening and thought everyone was planning a coworkers night out. It wasn’t until the guy who had invited me turned up at the restaurant in a suit that I realised it wasn’t a group event, I’d accidentally agreed to a date. FML

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Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

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Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

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Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

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