DeathToxik

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML