kp3dragon

not invited This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff Appleton, United States

Plans

Today, a close friend told me she had no plans for her birthday. I found out she was lying when I had to serve her and nine other mutual friends dinner at the restaurant I work at. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I wasn't invited or that none of them even remembered that I worked there. FML

42 comments

Moth_Balled 15 December 2015, 04:50 Australia 🌶️ Spicy

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

110 comments

MystoganFT 17 December 2015, 02:55 Emmaus, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

62 comments

CLupo 17 December 2015, 05:06 San Francisco, United States

Today, my grandma was sent to the hospital so I called out of work. My bosses told me that if I didn't come in I would be fired. I did so, only to find out they needed me there so I could close the restaurant while they left early to go to a party. FML

31 comments