Miss 35 years-old
Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing." FML
Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML
Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML
Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML
Today, my boss used Siri to settle a debate we were having in our team meeting. Siri responded by calling him "Daddy". FML
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