kmlizard

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About Kmlizard

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Kmlizard - Followers

Kmlizard - Followed

Kmlizard's page visits

lovers5201

curlytop10...

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Kmlizard's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The list of badges to find

Kmlizard's favorite FMLs

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 136 024

You deserved it 24 465

By 919191 - 18/08/2014 13:26 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 426

You deserved it 6 597

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 974

You deserved it 40 512

By NoBalls - 12/06/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 381

You deserved it 22 504

By Litterbox - 20/04/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 147 275

You deserved it 17 298

Litterbox tells us more.

Litterbox 0

Wednesday 22 April 2009 1:30

Wow O_o I can't believe how much of a response this thing is getting(first post ever...) But for clarification:(Skip if you want...Blah) a) Since my mother was willing to beat me with a metal end of a broom for claiming Hitler and the events of the holocaust were wrong and has a machete at the ready underneath her bed, the threat was/is to be taken seriously, wouldn't you think... (Is she still hilarious?) b) Kill me, sure, but THE KID??? c)I would've loved for my mother to have been concerned/open enough with me to have an actual conversation about sex... Blegh -_-