zomini9

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML