It wasn't me
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You have 50 followers and we quite frankly don't know how you managed it.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
You have 100 followers. Your head's in the game.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You have 200 followers. Everyone follows you. You should watch your mouth.
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By down trodden - 05/09/2013 07:45 - New Zealand - Auckland
By IronSkye - 29/08/2013 10:55 - Romania - Bucharest
By Thanks everyone - 28/08/2013 22:35 - Australia - Gaythorne
By lights on forever - 02/08/2013 20:57 - Turkey - Istanbul
Okay, I'm glad this FML got published. Thanks, guys! However, looks like I have some questions to answer. Firstly, my sister is almost eleven. The day before, we went shopping, and dad bought foir bottles of beer for a game he was going to watch in two days with his friends. My sister took the bottles and put the beer in cups, it totally looked like lemonade. She even put some lemons next to them! Yes, it was light beer, fortunately. But still alcohol. The kids told their mums the juice tasted funny, so they took a sip and figured out what it actually was. In the end, my sister's excuse was that she knew lemonade wouldn't have been successful anyway.