By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 14:19 - Australia - Applecross
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You've commented on an FML that you sent in
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 14:19 - Australia - Applecross
By gas money - 22/11/2015 04:34 - United States - Reno
By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco
By Nile - 08/12/2015 17:21 - Netherlands - Amsterdam
By SadAndAlone - 03/12/2015 16:41 - Sweden - Nacka
Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP