Reita_fml

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Omaha, United States
33 years-old
Thursday 28 January 1993
Not specified

About Reita_fml

myspace.com/autophobics

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Reita_fml's FML badges

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Reita_fml's favorite FMLs

By Ash - 27/05/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 505

You deserved it 88 674

By Wick - 26/05/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 016

You deserved it 115 393

Self report

By Anonymous - 25/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 073

You deserved it 5 540

TMI again

By crazybiotch - 28/05/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 756

You deserved it 61 442

By ITguy1982 - 28/05/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 638

You deserved it 60 604

ITguy1982 tells us more.

ITguy1982 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 21:26

Just got back from the hospital. Needed 8 stitches to close everything back up again. I had to postpone the date. Hopefully she'll be willing to wait a few weeks for me to heal up. I now have to put my sack in a plastic zip lock bag when I take a shower in order to prevent the area from getting wet.