Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
Today, I was going through the history on my computer. Apparently, while I was at school my mother used my computer, and I now know my mother wants to learn how to make her breasts look larger, amongst other things. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML
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