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annamallard

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622
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Narnia, Canada
27 years-old
Wednesday 26 May 1999
Single

About Annamallard

Not specified

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Annamallard's favorite FMLs

So romantic

By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 23:58 - United States - Denver

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me with the prettiest, most simple ring I have ever seen. I called my sister to tell her the good news, and her response was, "I know. He had me steal the ring from Claire's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 001

You deserved it 4 071

By VampObsessed - 05/01/2013 05:30 - United States - Dallas

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 197

You deserved it 8 745

VampObsessed tells us more.

VampObsessed 16

Wednesday 13 March 2013 9:14

OP here. My key only works on the front lock so I couldn't use any other doors and our windows don't operate to allow anyone in. I had to call my boyfriend to come over and move it for me so I could get in. Recently the spare bedroom I workout in has been overtaken by gnomes and I've opened my bedroom door to a gnome in the hallway. He even put it in the shower. This is not a good way to help me get past my phobia.

Don't freak out

By scaredofhedges - 07/01/2013 10:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 686

You deserved it 7 590

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 427

You deserved it 9 781

By Anonymous - 13/01/2013 18:25 - United States - Unionville

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 097

You deserved it 38 610

By anon - 14/01/2013 03:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 978

You deserved it 3 686

Ban that "rule"!

By PeeFlavouredFloss - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 915

You deserved it 3 258

By teacher - 25/01/2013 05:25 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 613

You deserved it 3 188

We meet again

By laprochainefoisjerestealamaison - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - France - Montpellier

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterwards tried to comfort me by saying there'd been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 026

You deserved it 5 192

Not now

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 23:00 - United States - Marlton

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 559

You deserved it 3 989

By Anonymous - 27/02/2013 17:36 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 283

You deserved it 6 589

By Beast - 30/03/2013 06:57 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 184

You deserved it 3 871

By halliemarie1818 - 24/04/2013 02:01 - United States

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 569

You deserved it 4 677

By tdrtnlz - 11/05/2013 06:25 - United Kingdom - Studley

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 530

You deserved it 6 077

By -1 friend - 17/05/2013 21:16 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 356

You deserved it 14 684