blossomwillow

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About Blossomwillow

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Blossomwillow's FML badges

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

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One more and it's business time

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Blossomwillow's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 02/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 086

You deserved it 17 901

Got something for you

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 21:48 - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 179

You deserved it 40 928

No way

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 18:41 - United States - Downey

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 882

You deserved it 58 917

By MrConcise - 01/05/2013 16:28 - United States

Today, I realized my favorite pen advertises a vaginal cream. I've been letting people borrow it for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 966

You deserved it 9 068

MrConcise tells us more.

MrConcise 34

Wednesday 1 May 2013 23:53

Here's how it went down: The previous shop owner retired just before I started working at my job. I took over his office, but he left a lot of shit behind. Besides, when you find a pen that actually works, you don't look too far into it. I suppose the girl riding the moped should've tipped me off a little sooner, though.

Angry little kid

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 3 556