rockpwnspaper

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Rockpwnspaper's favorite FMLs

Run home

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 14:56 - United States

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 134

You deserved it 6 201

By why mom, why? - 12/06/2013 04:59 - United States - Ross

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 627

You deserved it 14 350

By instinct - 12/06/2013 03:06 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 847

You deserved it 78 323

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 02:12 - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 333

You deserved it 3 324

By opherehehhehe - 25/06/2013 04:04 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 718

You deserved it 4 054

opherehehhehe tells us more.

opherehehhehe 5

Tuesday 25 June 2013 19:16

The speech took less than 2 minutes, it was a brief message thanking everyone for coming and how me and my husband greatly appreciate it. The party was the only way to gather my whole family. A dinner reservation would cost hundreds of dollars considering the size of my family. My brother just led my mother out and we carried on. Yes, we did supply a little wine but be didn't want a lot of alcohol considering I am pregnant and I don't want anyone drunk. Just clearing it up (: