sz632

Splatter

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

Today, I was walking with a female friend when suddenly, my ex-girlfriend comes running down the street and says, "So, you're cheating on me with this slut, huh?!" We've been separated for a decade now. FML

So similar

Today, I went to reach for a long piece of lint next to my dryer. It was a snake. FML