jshep1011

Bump in the road

Today, my long term ex, who broke up with me over a year ago and shattered my heart, seduced me (which wasn't hard, as he knew I still had feelings for him) and as he pulled out after the couple of minutes of what he called sex, he used the line, "There we go, that's your freebie." FML

Today, I took a picture of my knob on my girlfriend's cell phone and set it as her background without her knowing. Minutes later, I heard her mom scream. She has the same phone. FML

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML