trev000

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

Today, I was stuck sitting at a cafeteria table next to the girl who broke my heart and her boyfriend. I got to overhear the conversation, which included, "I want to go to the car" followed by, "Me too, but I don't have a condom." FML