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douglas - 17/07/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML

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Anonymous - 16/07/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

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You've got a friend

no one - 21/05/2011 09:07 - United States

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

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