By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
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By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
By childhoodupinsmoke - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Austin
By bacon lovers worst nightmare - 26/09/2012 06:57 - United States - San Diego
By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin
By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 09:45 - United States - Brooklyn
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.